Principles for Peace

Daily Evaluation
Do you ever feel like your day is spinning hopelessly out of control? I can identify! I am currently going through a book, Time Powerby Charles Hobbs, that is making me really think about things and do some major needed changes in my life. While he doesn’t mention it specifically (or hasn’t really yet anyway), this idea I’m going to blog about, it has certainly made me think a lot about it. The idea, the thought, is: evaluating your day at the end of each day.

Time Powerhas caused me to evaluate my entire life more than I ever have or knew that I could. I think it will be the most life changing thing I’ve ever done in my adult life. He has you to evaluate everything about your values and the way you live, but more on that in another post…..

Important or Urgent?
So this idea of daily evaluation….. Since I am now evaluating my life more, I have been thinking more at the close of each day about how I have spent my time, my day. I have come up with a list of questions to use to evaluate my day at it’s close. I hope they are helpful to you as well. I think I am going to start ranking each question on a scale from 1-10. Here are the questions:

Was it productive and efficient?

Did I do what I set out to do at the beginning of the day?

Did I waste my time?

Did I let fear and procrastination get the best of me?

Did my thoughts, attitudes and actions reflect my values and the significant people and things in my life? (Were my actions throughout the day a reflection of what is truly important to me?)

Did I spend my time working toward my clearly defined goals?

Or did I waste my time on things that were simply urgent, but not even remotely important? Did I rush around like a crazy person who has no control of time or her life in any way, “putting out fires” as some put it?

Or did I sit around watching TV all day or doing something meaningless like that?

For me, my struggle is putting out the insignificant fires - the things screaming for my attention that are urgent but not important. Many people get caught up into these things. If you feel like your life is spinning out of control asking yourself these questions can help get you focused.

What Next?
After ranking each question, the next question to ask is: “How can I improve? How can I make tomorrow better? Be specific and write down the answers to this question. Then at the beginning of each day, after you have gotten dressed for the day, look over this list of how to improve, along with your life goals. Then make a specific list of how to make your day match up with your goals. You may just be amazed at how much time you waste. I know I am amazed!

Time Power

Remember this quote by president Dwight Eisenhower: “Most things which are urgent are not important, and most things which are important are not urgent.”

“Why be normal?”
This was the constant phrase of one of my good friends in high school. I didn’t “get it.” Why did he insist on going against the grain? Why did he think it was a good thing to do? I kept wondering these things. He truly was unique!

While I’m not so sure that my friend’s plot against normalcy was such a good thing, I think this concept deserves much attention. Most definitely you have to NOT be normal to go anywhere or make any difference in this world. Can you name any one person from the past who who strove to be like everyone else that is remembered to this day? Can you think of anyone who has made a difference in this world who strove to be like everyone else? Undoubtedly, everyone who has made a difference has set themselves apart from the norm.

Now what?
Since we all agree that conformity is the enemy of making a difference and leading a successful life where does this leave us?

1. Make a decision to NOT be normal. This takes tremendous self confidence to stick your neck out, but oh the rewards!!! And the ironic thing is the more you decide to be different and take action the more confidence you gain, because you see the difference you make. That confidence will prompt you to be less normal and take even more action. It creates a good healthy cycle. There is nothing that feels better in this world than the feeling of making a difference!!!

2. Study the lives and material of those who have made a difference. Make a list of influential people and do some research on them and what sets them apart. Read what others have written about them. Read the materials they have written. Make a list of what set them apart. Learn from the pros how to make a difference.

3. Put what you learn about these individuals and from them into action. Simply learning what they did and taught will get you nowhere. Take the list you have made of what sets these individuals apart, read it daily and modify it to your life. Ask yourself, “How can I apply what I have learned from these people into my life.” Write it down. Look at it first thing every day and take specific actions toward that goal.

4. Make a list of the rewards you will receive for setting yourself apart. Review this list daily also. Constantly remind yourself of the benefits of setting yourself apart. It will keep you going and moving forward.

5. Make a list of consequences of being normal. This could be as simple as writing at the top of a piece of paper, “This is what my life will look like and the difference I will make if I strive to be normal:” and leave the rest of the page blank.

6. Make a decision to take action. Yes, I know this is a repeat of number three.

7. Take action.

8. Take action.

Decision -> action -> rewards!

Make Yourself Unforgettable: The Dale Carnegie Class-Act System

Yesterday, we began discussing the steps necessary to win through adversity - how to use problems and a positive attitude for your advantage. Today we will continue this discussion. As we noted in the last post, everybody has problems arise so knowing how to deal with it is crucial.

5. Develop and maintain a deep spiritual relationship with your creator, God.
Many times people forget God is there until some tragic event happens and then they turn to God. While it is definitely good to turn to God during these times, if we have a continual abiding relationship with Him all the time it is so much easier to face any problems that arise. He even promised that He will work all things together for good to those that love Him and in my experience that has ALWAYS been true. For more information you can visit www.wbschool.org

6. Figure out if the problem is something that you can change or not.
Often we worry over things that we have no control over.

7. If it is something that you can not change make a resolution to let go of it. It is hard to function properly in aspect of life if you are preoccupied with something over which you have no control. It waste many precious hours. If you can not control it decide to change your attitude about it. It is so liberating to do.

8. If the problem is something you can change, then take a long hard look at it and DECIDE to change it. Program your mind to automatically look for the solution in any problem. This has been one of the single biggest things that has helped me to deal with adversity. When you focus on the problem itself it only gets bigger and bigger. When you tell yourself there is a solution and start looking for it great things happen. Your mind begins to go wild looking for a solution and good comes about as you go to action implementing the solution. Problems are negative. Solutions are positive.

Success Through A Positive Mental Attitude

9. Whether the problem is something that you can change or not, look for the good in it.
Usually I try to make it a rule to never assume anything. But this a a big exception…. Always assume that good is hidden in each difficulty. If you believe that you will find the good. Train your mind to think of a problem as a good thing. W. Clemment Stone is know for saying “Great!” whenever a problem arises. Was he successful?? You better believe it!!Always look for opportunities and you will always find them. This is true not only in adversity, but as you go through out each and every day. It’s a matter of programming the mind that way.

10. Believe it is exactly what you need at the present time.
This is one of my favorites! Assume that whatever circumstance you are currently facing is exactly what you need to best reach your goals and be successful. Wow!!! How powerful is that!! Assume that God has given you this exact problem to help you be who you need to be and do what you need to do, to help you expand and grow. Michael Jordan says it this way… “I succeeded because I failed.” In other words, he trained his mind to think that each failure was exactly what he needed to teach him the lesson he needed.

Go face whatever life throws at you!!!

Well, we all go through it. It’s called adversity. It’s called problems. It’s called trails. It’s called struggles. It’s called whatever you want to call it, but we must all admit that it happens to all of us. No one can escape them. We can live our lives in such a way as to avoid some of them and hopefully we are all working to do that, but things do come up. So if they are inevitable what can we do about them? How can we win over them and come out on top and even become better because of them? That’s what we will talk about today. As I think about all the ingredients necessary to come out on top this may become a series in stead of just one post… It’s so good I can’t write it all in one post

1. Recognize that Problems Do Happen.
As we have already noted, problems do happen. Don’t be foolish enough to think they will never happen to you, because they do happen to EVERYONE. Don’t go around expecting bad things to happen or be paranoid. That will only make things worse. Instead, simply recognize the fact that anything can happen. Recognizing this fact, helps us to be prepared when things do come up. We’re not shocked and taken off guard. Thinking they will never happen to you only sets yourself up for failure. I heard a wise person say one time that you’re either in a problem now, coming out of one or about to enter one.

2. Decide Ahead of Time How You Will React.
Since we know that problems will come up decide ahead of time to be positive. Decide ahead of time that you will come out on top. Decide ahead of time that you will look for the good in each and every problem. It all starts with a decision. If you don’t decide ahead of time how you will react, then you will be devastated with each and every problem.

Success Through A Positive Mental Attitude

3. Look at the Big Picture.
This requires you to HAVE a big picture. In the whole scheme of things how important is this? Will it really matter in one week, one month, one year, ten years or 100 years from now? Sometimes, simply asking yourself that question will eliminate your frustration all together and you can give it up.

The big picture requires you to have vision and goals and priorities. Know where you are going and what’s important to you. Step back and look at things. How does this problem fit into all of this? Does it really fit into your vision and goals? If not, maybe it’s not worth worrying about. Actually, just knowing and laying out a clear vision will prevent you from even considering some things as problems. If you have a clear vision, you may be able to just laugh at some things. If the problem does fit into and effect your vision and priorities follow the rest of the principles laid out here.

4. Focus on the Future.
Again, this requires you to see the big picture and have a clear vision. Know where you are going. Whatever you are facing, focus on the future, instead of the past. Our natural tendency is to turn toward the past and dwell on past failures that remind us of this particular problem. That will only make things worse as that will cause us to be dwelling on the negative. Focusing on the future forces us to think on the positive. Focusing on the past can easily get us into blaming mode, whether that be blaming others or ourselves for this and previous problems. Instead look forward and focus on where you want to be and take responsibility to move yourself in that direction. Focusing on the problem and the past only makes the problem bigger.

Make a decision to start implementing these steps steps today. You CAN come out on top!

More for next time….

My husband is currently getting his masters degree in engineering management. Basically, it’s a business degree for engineers. The principles are all the same whether it’s engineering or a small business. He’s learning all the ingredients necessary to run a successful business. In one of his classes his teacher compared the vision of a company to a rubber band. I thought it was worth looking into some more.

From what my husband can remember this idea is talked about in The Fifth Discipline: The Art & Practice of The Learning Organization - a book that I will be looking into some more. The analogy is that on one end of the rubber band is you. At the other end is your vision - where you see yourself going. This teacher defined vision as a short succinct, and inspiring statement of what the organization intends to become and to achieve at some point in the future, often stated in competitive terms. It describes aspirations for the future, without specifying the means that will be used to achieve those desired ends. It is the big thing is you want to accomplish - what you want to be known for or what you want your business to be known for. It should be unique and something you feel passionate about.

What happens when you have vision is the vision pulls you in the directions you want to go just like a rubber band. Everything you do is based upon that vision and is guided by it. It becomes you. All the strategies and goals you lay out and put into practice is guided by that vision. It pulls everything together. It makes everything you do worthwhile. It gives you meaning to what you are doing. This is so powerful. It is huge. Without a clear vision you might as well not even bother doing anything because you will be flailing around aimlessly going nowhere because you don’t even know where you are going.

Once your vision is in place then you can lay out a strategy to reach the other end of the rubber band. Your strategy will lay out how you plan to accomplish this vision. In a business this is often done by becoming an expert or authority in a specific area. Strategy is more detailed than your vision. Once you have the vision and strategy down, you can then lay out specific measurable goals with time frames to make the vision come about.

The Fifth Discipline: The Art & Practice of The Learning Organization

The Fifth Discipline Fieldbook

I have come across this quote before. I find it disturbing almost and I think I should. I think it’s meant to be disturbing - to make us think about what is really important and where our priorities are and what we should be spending our time doing. What do I need to reevaluate in my life???……

“Most things which are urgent are not important, and most things which are important are not urgent.”

- President Dwight Eisenhower

Yesterday morning I was awaken from sleep by my cell phone ringing that I forgot to turn off the night before. The caller was informing me that someone I love was talking about committing suicide. What a scary and startling way to wake up! The person did get some help and did not follow through with it thankfully. Since I was awaken so suddenly by it, it was as if everything I knew to do went out the door.

After things calmed down, I began to think about how I would handle the situation differently if it happened again and I began to look for opportunities in it. I began to think about what I would say to this person if there was a next time. Somehow my mind led me to a prayer that I could help this person pray and I just had to write it down. It turned into not only a prayer that I could help this person pray if that situation arose again, but I think really more importantly it turned into a prayer that we can pray every day so that our minds never get to the point of even thinking about suicide. I decided to post that prayer here for everyone’s benefit.

The main thing it reminds us of is to see the big picture and keep our focus on it.

Please feel free to use this prayer and refer this to anyone you think could use it - or better yet just refer it to everyone you love. Let’s make an effort to prevent suicide!

It also turned into a good reason to be and/or the blessings of being a Christian - if you need more info on becoming a Christian please refer to http://www.wbschool.org/

Here is the prayer:

“Dear Father, life is hard. So often it really just does not seem fair. Help me to remember that you never promised it would be easy, but instead that you would always be there for me and give me strength, comfort and wisdom when I turn to you and that I can have peace just resting in that.

Father, I realize that I am a sinful creature and that even though I do not deserve your love and forgiveness, you continually pour it out on me anyway. You are such an awesome God and I am so blessed.

Father, sometimes I really struggle and do not know all the answers and that is hard, but I realize that you are way bigger than any of my problems and that I can handle anything with
you on my side.

Father, so many times it is easy to get caught up in life’s daily problems and I think the world is against me and that there is no use in trying anymore. Please help me to remember that life is all about you and bringing glory and honor to you and that it is not about me. That is so hard to see
sometimes.

Father, so often when struggles arise all I can think about is the problem and how it affects ME. Help me not to try to avoid all of life’s problems because they are inevitable, but help me to focus on the solution to the problem and opportunity contained in it and how I can use it to your glory, not on the problem itself. For when I focus on the problem it only gets bigger, but help me to remember that good and opportunities can come from EVERYTHING if I look for it and let it.

Father, some people are mean and say cruel things. Help me to remember that just because someone says or does something that does not mean it is true. Help me to remember that it is only true of me if I choose to make it true of me. Help me to remember that you not only made me, but that you made me in your image!! Help me to remember that no one can harm my thoughts unless I give them permission.

Father, so many things do not go like I want them to. Give me the wisdom to discern between the things I can change and the things I can not. Help me to have the right attitude toward the things I can not change and to give them up to you. Help me to remember that the only thing and person I can control is myself – my thoughts and my actions. Help me to give up all other control to you, for the burden is too much for me.

Father, help me to remember that when I allow the first negative thought to come into my head that I am giving Satan an open invitation to come in and invade in my mind and have a party. Dear Father, help me to recognize Satan’s tactics and when he knocks on the door and help me to check to make sure the locks are bolted shut and invite you to come in instead for a spiritual feast. Help me to turn my thoughts to your blessings and toward what I can do to serve you.

Father, I realize that not everyone will give me approval even though I would like them to do so. That can hurt, but please help me to forgive them and remember that as long as I am looking outward and seeking approval from others that I will be miserable at best. Help me to instead look inward and to look to you to find more ways to love you and bring glory to you and to
look for ways to help others to feel approved by me instead.

Father, help me to remember that any time I expect others to look down on me that they will because I have already given them permission. Help me not to expect this from others, but help me to remember that any time I expect to find the good in
others I will find it.

Father, help me to remember that you want to send blessings my way. Please help me to be open to receiving them.

Father, there are many things that cloud my vision. Please help me to most of all remember that my purpose for being here is to bring glory and honor to YOU by taking YOU into the world. Help me to remember that it is all about YOU and living for YOU and seeking ways to show your love, peace and happiness to the world. Help me to do the things that would cause people to look at me and say, “Behold the Lamb” as John said of Jesus in the Bible. Help me to live in such a way that people see JESUS instead of seeing me.

It is only when I lose sight of this vision that I focus on my problems and how big they are and how they affect me, instead of remembering who I am and that I am here for YOUR GLORY and to use my problems FOR YOU. Father, I realize that only when I am seeking to shine your light to the world does life make any sense or have any meaning. All else is vanity.

Father, make my life all about you.

In Jesus’ name, amen.”

Nelson’s NKJV Study Bible

Update: If this prayer helped you you may also enjoy a series of posts that I am in the middle of posting on Steps to Happiness. It begins with Are You a Puppet on Strings? - Taking Back Control of Your Life on March 18, 2008. You may also consider subscribing to this blog to learn more about inner peace and happiness. I hope I can help many many people find this peace that is possible to possess.