Just like Ari Koinuma, from Our Best Version, this wasn’t a post I planned to write next.   But my friend Jenny Mannion of Heal Pain Naturally asked me to participate with her group writing project about Heroes of Healing and I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity.  If you’ve been around here very long then you’ve probably heard me talk about my friend and mentor, Ron Wilkins who passed away earlier this year.  I’ve even dedicated this site to him and much of what I write about I learned from Ron.  So it only seems natural for me to write about him for this writing project.

Ron had a  very rough life from the beginning.  His father rejected him the first time he ever saw him at the age of two and he was raised by Read More »

Happy Fourth of July to all of my U.S. readers - and everyone else also!  (Yes, I know it’s a couple of days early.)

I would like to introduce you to Arthur, someone I know personally.  Arthur has a beautiful wife and three teenage children.  Arthur just left last week for training so that he can soon be shipped overseas to protect and insure our freedoms.  He is giving up everyone and everything he loves so that you and I personally can embrace freedom.  You see that’s just it.  Until we personally embrace this freedom can we really pay tribute to our troops????  Think about it for a minute. 

U.S. troops die every day for you and me - to preserve the freedoms upon which this country was founded.  Do you take that lightly?  I know I have taken them for granted.  I hear on the news “10 troops died today, 32 troops died today in battle on the….. ” Soon, a person  becomes hardened to words.

I was thinking this afternoon…. these troops die every day for your freedom, for my freedom - for the peace we enjoy.  The question is “What are you doing to embrace this freedom and make yourself, this country and world a better place?”  You see, we watch them die, all to let the battle in our own minds continue and take over our lives and not even embrace the freedom that is right in front of us.  Until we choose to win this battle we will never appreciate what our troops are doing for us. 

Photo by:  Jeff Kubina

10 ways that you forfeit your freedom:

1.  Holding on to past failures.

2.  Self limiting beliefs - “I can’t.”  I’m not good enough.” 

3.  Trying to change everyone around you to fit your mold.

4.  Trying to fit the mold of all those around you and fulfill the expectations that others have for you.

5.  Bad attitudes and filling your mind with negative thoughts.

6.  Victimizing yourself because of your circumstances.

7.  Seeking revenge.

8.  Beating yourself up.

9.  Quarreling and fighting.

10.  Do nothing.

Men and women are dying every day so that:

1.  You can learn from past mistakes and look forward to better things.

2.  “YOU can!”

3.  You can make YOURSELF better.

4.  You can set yourself apart

5.  You can have so many blessings.

6.  You can let go of everything that holds you back.

7.  You can CHOOSE to forgive and love anyway.

8.  You can think of all the reasons “you can” and DO it.

9.  You can unite with others to do great things.

10. You can make yourself, this country and world a better place.

The troops are working to clear out any outside circumstances that might hold you back from your dreams and the peace that can be yours.  It’s up to you to clear away the mental blocks so that you can help make this country and world a better place.  Until you let go of all that is holding you back from peace and personal success you will never fully appreciate what your troops are doing for you and reach forward to great things.  Will you rise to the challenge our troops have set for YOU?   The freedoms are yours.  Will YOU embrace them?

What are some other ways that you see people forfeit their freedom?

In what ways can you better embrace your freedom?

Last week, I was forced to deal with the sudden death of one of my uncles.  It seems that it is maybe an event that shouldn’t have happened - at least not at this time.  Whatever happened, he is now gone and we are forced to grieve his loss and think of his memory. 

Death has been something I have had to deal with a lot over the past six weeks.  First, it was my friend Ron.  Now it is my Uncle Robert.  One thing is certain, we all face death.  It is inevitable.  Sure, science has advanced and people live longer now, but we still can not live forever on this earth. 

Being forced to face death so much has caused me to ponder about life more and reflect over my life.  What can death teach us about life?  Can peace abound in the midst of death?  Sure it can and I believe it should.

So what can we learn from death?

1.  Tomorrow is never guaranteed.  The next hour is never guaranteed.  Life is short.  So what is guaranteed?  Only this very moment.  So the question arises, “What are we doing with this moment?”

I’m not sure of the author, but this is a great quote brought to my attention by my friend David B. Bohls of Slow Down Fast:

Now is mine.
I can do what I want with it.
I own it, for better or worse.
What I do now, in this present moment, is what makes up my life.
My whole life is only a succession of nows.
I will take this moment and do something with it.
What I do with each now will make me or break me.

2.  The biggest thing I have been reflecting on is, “If I were to die right now, how would my epitaph, my eulogy read?  Each of us are writing our eulogy now - at this very moment.  So what is it saying?  Take some time now to reflect on that thought.  I will be doing that over the next few days.  Stephen Covey talks about the importance of doing this in his must read book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

A Thought to keep in mind….

Each moment is a stepping stone or building block to the summation of our life. 

If your stepping stones or building blocks could speak what would they say?  Are they applauding you for a job well done and making your life beautiful and full of peace or are they all crumbling to the ground screaming for help to be re-stacked into a sturdy structure and masterpiece?

A while back, I came across this short, but incredible movie that illustrates this point so well.  It’s worth a look.

3.  How can someone have peace as they face death?  Inner peace is about facing death confidently - knowing you are living the life you are meant to live every day of your life.  It is about living life for God not yourself.

Life is not about staying alive.  It is about being prepared to die at any moment.

WB School is a great resource I have found.

4.  Facing the death of loved ones has taught me not only the importance of reflecting on my life at this time, but to also take the time on a regular basis to do so?  Am I living the life I want to live is a good question?  If not, why not?  If not, then what can I do about it?  What can I do different?

5.  “It’s all in YOUR mind.”  This last one is directly from my uncle Robert.  One of the men presiding at his funeral told the story of how he was making excuses to my uncle.  Speaking about something he was doing, but didn’t feel like he was doing well, the man said to my uncle, “I just don’t feel like I’m making a difference.  I just don’t feel like I’ll ever be any better than I am now.”  My uncle said to him, “Just remember that’s all in YOUR mind, not anybody elses’.”      Thought:   What are you telling yourself?

Homework:

Write out your eulogy.  This is not to be a morbid experience, but rather an exciting one as you lay out how you want to live your life and what you want to be remembered for.  Keep breaking this down into smaller and smaller achievable daily steps and take action to achieve it.  Refer to Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People if needed.

At the end of every day, ask yourself, “If I could change one thing about today and the way I lived it, what would it be?”  What one thing would give me a stronger sense of inner peace?”  Write it down.  Resolve to put that into practice the next day. 

As promised in an earlier post, here’s my feeble attempt to pay tribute to my friend and teacher that changed my life and the lives of thousands of others forever:

I never will forget the first time I noticed this man. It was in Bible class at church. He sat as a student in class, but when he opened his mouth to make a comment all I noticed was an emblem of peace and wisdom and a man of God. His presence of peace almost made me melt. I remember thinking, “Who is this man? I have to meet him.” Each comment he made thereafter, each prayer he prayed, each time he spoke, each time I …… (read more…….)

Here is my friend Ron talking about some of the work he did. What a man!

I would like to thank my readers for their loyalty and their comments. You are what keeps me going, keeps me writing. You make it all worth while!! My apologies for dropping off the face of the earth for the last week….

I got word last Wednesday, that a good friend, teacher, and mentor was in the hospital. We were so fortunate to be able to see him Wednesday night before he passed from this earth on Thursday morning. It has been a time of much grieving and a time of rejoicing as he has now gone home.

I really cannot stand to think about where I would be now without him. He taught me more about life in the short time I knew him than probably I have learned in all the rest of my life. I am overwhelmed with gratitude to God that He gave me the opportunity to know him and learn under him. Much of what I write about I learned from Ron, either directly or from one of his students who is following in his footsteps. Now, I will begin focusing more specifically in the future on the things he taught.

I have written a tribute to Ron that will be posted sometime in the near future. I have submitted it to be posted on the website of the program that Ron started. As soon as my friend Gary posts it there I will provide the link for you to read about this great man of men.

So for now, I thought I would focus on the topic of wisdom, since my friend Ron was one of the wisest men I have ever known….

Have you ever wanted to just be really wise and know all the answers, but thought wisdom was just too far away? I sure have…. Before my friend’s death, but especially after his death, I began to think about what wisdom is. Ron had it down perfectly it seems… Often it seems so far away from me, but the question is, “Is it attainable by anyone? If so, how?”

As I looked at Ron’s life I asked myself, “what made Ron so wise?” What is wisdom? My husband and I discussed this topic over dinner the other night.

Here was my husbands response:

He said that “wisdom is the ability to see the big picture.” As I thought about that it made perfect sense. Ron could always see the big picture. Well, at least once he was taught to see it and focus on it. As I looked at what I knew about the first part of Ron’s life I realized that no, he didn’t always see the big picture. I realized that he had learned it. That was comforting to me because I pondered the thought that it could be a natural talent and not necessarily attainable.

Yes, wisdom can be learned. It is a skill that can be learned. However I believe it takes much effort and practice and concentration. It’s not for the half hearted. It probably takes a lot more practice for some than others. Some seem to pick it up easier than others.

Ron taught that seeing the big picture is part of a positive attitude. You can’t have a positive attitude if you’re caught up in the details of problems. Seeing the big picture requires you to step back and see things in perspective, in the whole scheme of things. When you do that you are able to be more positive about steps you take to find a solution to the problem.

So how do I learn wisdom? How do I learn to see things in perspective? These were the next questions I asked myself.

1. Being wise and seeing the big picture requires you to first define what is important, your values and priorities as I talked about in my previous article. You must define them clearly and specifically and then you will be able to make wise choices based upon what you have said was important to you. If you don’t know what is important then you really don’t have a big picture. Your life will be filled with meaningless overwhelming problems that you can’t solve.
(I know from previous experience.)

However, when you have your priorities in order, you will be able to see how everything fits into your priorities. Is the problem you are facing really that big? Is a good question to ask. If God and family are very important to you and the microwave blows up, sure it will be disappointing. But, in the whole scheme of things how important is it really?

2. Next in line, in order to see the big picture, is to set some goals. (As we continue our discussion next time you will see why this step is so crucial in obtaining wisdom.) My favorite book, Time Power: The Revolutionary Time Management System That Can Change Your Professional and Personal is by far the best information I have ever seen on goal setting. It’s system is the only one that has ever made sense to me. Make your goals in line with your priorities and not in conflict with them. Goals should include every aspect of your life and be numbered in order just as you did with your priorites. They should match up and not conflict with your priorities. Goals should include every aspect of your life - spiritual, mental, family, social, health, recreation, professional, etc. What is most important?

It is easy for me to look at my friend Ron’s life and see what was most important to him and what his goals were. He lived it every day of his life. God was most important to him, people were next. Going to Heaven, representing Jesus, and helping as many people as he could to find peace in their lives, remove emotional pain and come to know who God really is (both in his lifetime and afterward) and help them go to Heaven were his obvious goals.

Next time, we will take a look at how and why these steps bring about wisdom as we bring in some more steps. It’s so hard for me to stop writing…. I am so excited about these posts. It is eye opening to me to reflect and write on these things as I know it will be for you to read and learn….

For today, make a list of your values and goals and prioritize them.

To my friend Ron, your life lives on….

What have you learned about wisdom in your expereince?