The Power of NO

Peace, balance, priorities, time management, wisdom June 18th, 2009

clock

photo by:  Robert van der Steeg

“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least. “ ~ Goethe

The clock is ticking.  It still is.  Time doesn’t stop.  You only have a limited amount of time that you live on this earth.

As you close your eyes tonight - this very night - another day will have ended.  Will you look back at the day fulfilled - satisfied with how you spent your time?  If you were to write down all the things you did or all the ways you spent your time what would it reflect?

What/who is important to you?  Have you spent your time Read More »

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Are you in Balance?

balance, inner peace, priorities, time management September 18th, 2008

Are you in balance?

I came to the realization recently that I’m out of balance.  Going back to last week’s post, I realized that I have minimized certain aspects of my life.  I spend a considerable amount of time with myself every day (which I require), but I have still been out of balance.  So what’s the deal?  Where is the imbalance coming from?  That’s what I’ve been trying to discover.  I took a lot of time off this week trying to figure it all out and took some different “me time” than usual.  I even broke out the clay and the paint!

This time has been very helpful, but I still have a ways to go yet.  The main things I have figured out so far are: Read More »

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Help!! I’m in Too Deep and I Need Out!

Big Picture, Peace, Uncategorized, focus, goals, happiness, inner peace, marital satisfaction, positive attitude, priorities, relantionships, responsibility, time management, wisdom May 13th, 2008

support LittleMillRocks.comHave you ever had your head spinning because you had so much going on, so many things to do? Chances are you have. Why is that? Why is life so cluttered with so much? Well, it doesn’t have to be. It wasn’t designed to be that way? So why is it? Let’s discuss….

The topic of simplicity has been prominent in my mind lately. I’ve been thinking about how we will have so much peace in our lives if we simply simplify.

How much time do we spend chasing after things that aren’t even important? How much time and energy do we spend chasing after money and material possessions? It seems that often that is what makes our lives so complex (not always, but often). “So you mean to tell me that we actually have control over the chaos and craziness in our lives? - that it doesn’t have to be so crazy and complex?” Absolutely. You always have the power to control how you live your life and to fill it with peace. But…. I know, there’s so much you have to do. I know… I know… I really do understand.

My husband and I were shopping for a clothes dryers a week or two ago. The one I wanted was a Fisher & Paykel. Ever heard of them? I hadn’t until about a year ago. They are the best on the market. They are a New Zealand company? What makes them so great? What does this have to do with anything? Fisher & Paykel are the best, yet they are the most simple machines out there. They have seven moving parts? Why? “The less moving parts, the less parts to tear up” is their moto. Well, I didn’t quiet want to pay the price tag on that dryer, so we bought a good ole American made dryer with lots of very cheap moving parts that will only last a few years. Maybe in about 5 years when my dryer breaks down, I’ll break down and shell out the dough for something that will last for more than five years.

So what can we learn from Fisher & Paykel? Simplicity - They have simplicity mastered. They have eliminated the unnecessary parts and only kept the absolute necessary ones for the dryer to work. So how can we eliminate the unnecessary things from our lives so that there is less to tear up or break down?

1. It is first of all important to understand why we make our lives complex. People are looking for peace. They are looking for happiness. They are looking for contentment. They are looking for approval. Because they don’t have these things on the inside, they look for it in outside - in things like possessions and activities. Working on making ourselves beautiful on the inside will eliminate the need for so many possessions and things to do on the outside.

2. Reducing our lives to the absolute necessary things by laying out what is most important to us is crucial if we want to have any semblance of sanity. Knowing what is most important is key to eliminating what is least importanat. This is such a liberating thing to do as it will free up so much time - time that we didn’t know we had because we were spending it on things that were’t even important to us to begin with.

3. Remember that the more things we have and buy the more responsibility we have and the more we have to worry about and be concerned with. The more things we have the more of our time and energy is required to tend to them. I know that when I was child I didn’t have a lot of toys - I had some, but not a ton of them, and I loved life as a kid. I didn’t need a lot of “things” to make me happy. I was content to go outside and play in the dirt or the woods beside my house. These days, kids have so many toys they could never possibly play with all of them and they never do. They can’t even fit them in their room or garage.

4.. Here are some questions we can ask ourselves to help simplify life:

  • “Which of the things I have and am doing now are the least important to me? Which are the most important to me?”
  • “If I were only given one month to live what would I spend my time doing?” What about one week? What about one day?
  • Before buying something, ask yourself, “Is this going to make my life more complicated? Will this free up my time to do what is really important or will this take time away from the things that are most important to me?”
  • “Will this thing or activity add value to me or to those that I love or will it take away value?”
  • “What did I enjoy as a child?” Chances are those are still the simple things that will still bring joy to you.
  • “How can I accomplish my goals and be the most effective with the least amount of time, resources and money?”
  • “Is this important or just urgent?”
  • And to sum it all up: “What can I do or elimate today to make my life less complex and enjoy it more?”

For more information on simplification I recommend these posts:

7 Ways to Eliminate Emotional Clutter

5 Axioms of Life: A Pathway to Happiness

5 Qualities I Find in Successful Entrepreneurs -  especially quality number 3.

Well, for some reason I can’t get this last link to work.  Simply go to http://yes-to-me.com/ and scroll down on the far right hand side to “Best of Yes to Me” and click on the first link there.  Point number 3 is the one I was drawn to on this post. 


Digg!

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Obtaining Wisdom in a Chaotic World (Continued)….

Big Picture, Peace, happiness, inner peace, positive attitude, priorities, purpose, success, time management, vision, wisdom April 17th, 2008
In a previous post we began the discussion of wisdom - what is it and how to obtain it. We are going to continue this discussion as we add some more steps to the process…

In the previous post we defined wisdom as the ability to see the big picture. (As we will see it goes far beyond simply seeing the big picture, although that is the foundation.) Then we began discussing the first two steps to obtain it: 1. Defining your values and ordering them and 2. Setting goals and ordering them.

Step 3. in obtaining wisdom is to now take your list of priorities and goals and take a look at them EVERY morning BEFORE you begin your day. This constantly reminds you to see things in perspective.

  • 3a. It’s always a good idea to evaluate your priorities (see previous post) and goals lists and ask yourself,Are these the noblest of priorities and goals that I could possibly have? Are these really what is important? In the whole scheme of things, are these the really important things?” Make sure everything has congruity and that it will bring you the most satisfaction. If you need to change anything then do it at this time. If you are satisfied with your lists as it is, then…
  • 3b. If you haven’t already, break your long term goals down into more specific attainable intermediate goals by asking yourself how and when you will obtain them. Write them down.
  • 3c. Begin dwelling on these list and lay out your day according to them. Make out your “to do” list according to the priorities and goals lists and what you want to accomplish in your life.

Now, you will begin to see things from a larger perspective. When something comes along that could distract your attention, somehow it doesn’t seem so distracting anymore, because you have a bigger picture. Life all the sudden makes sense.

Step 4
in obtaining wisdom is to raise your level of consciousness. Become conscious of everything you do. In laying out your priorities and goals you are already well on your way with this step. Become conscious of everything you are doing. When something distracting comes along ask yourself, “How does this affect the big picture? How does this fit into my values and priorities?” If it has no relation to them, then you can just dismiss and continue on with the direction you want things to go. ” Will this matter next week, next month, year or next decade?” is another good question to ask. With these questions you will easily be able to see what is important or what is simply urgent, but has no real importance.

Step 5
in obtaining wisdom is to focus on value. Before doing something, ask yourself, “Does this provide value?” “Does it provide value to those I love, the world or to me?” Will it make a real long term difference?” Really, if you have laid out your priorities well, this one has already been answered for you ahead of time. But, if a situation arises and you are wondering what to do, this is another great question to ask.

Step 6 is to train your mind to think about consequences - good or bad. When trying to decide whether or not to do something ask yourself, “How will this action affect that or what will it lead to? If I choose to do that, what will be the outcome? What will be the consequences of this action?” Will it produce good results or consequences or will it produce negative consequences that you will have to live with for the rest of your life? In other words, look at it from every angle and determine what the outcome will be.

For more information:
Refer to Jonathon Meade’s post on urgent verses important matters at Pick the Brain and/or read Time Power: The Revolutionary Time Management System That Can Change Your Professional and Personal.

As someone who used to be the most indecisive person in the whole world, I enjoy learning new questions to ask myself….What questions do you ask yourself to help make wise decisions?

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Ingredients for Inner Peace - How to Get Your Priorities in Order

Peace, focus, inner peace, priorities, purpose, responsibility, time management April 8th, 2008

Would you agree that we are all looking for inner peace in our lives? Whether people realize it or not, that is really what we are all seeking - a way to do away with the chaos in our lives.

It is only when you align all your actions with your priorities that you will experience peace and success in all endeavors and be all that you can be.

This has been a lesson that I have learned the hard way and one that I have to continually remind myself of.

You have probably all heard me rave about my favorite book, Time Power: The Revolutionary Time Management System That Can Change Your Professional and Personal by Charles R. Hobbs. It has changed my thinking and my life in so many ways. It helped clearly define my priorities and put them in order. It has been amazing! Even though the book is about “time” management it really is about “life” management. It takes a lot of time to go through the book, and I am still not finished with it, but it is well worth ALL the time I have put into it! The book is now out of print, but a few used copies are still lurking around.

I thought I would take some time to share with you why I love this book so much:

Why is this book so transformational? What does it teach?

Well, first of all, if you want to get your life together and have any kind of control over it instead of it controlling you, Hobbs suggest these things:

1. Make a list of what you value most; identify your highest priorities in life.
Hobbs calls these unifying principles. Do you value honesty, integrity, family, God, leadership, responsibility, friendships, etc.? What about faith, humility discipline. Make a list of all the things that are most important to you. Be thorough and honest. Some people start our with only a few and add more in the coming weeks and months, while others write down many upfront. It depends on you and what works for you.

2. Since the priorites you make a list of are broad, the next step is to rewrite each principle as an action statement. For example, if you wrote down “honesty” as a unifying principle, you would now write something like “be honest.” “Family might become “support my family.” Whatever it means to you and causes you to rise to action.

3. Make sure your unifying principles are the noblest of ideas and mutually compatible. If you write down “become wealthy whatever the cost” that will be in conflict with your other principles, because when faced with the decision to be wealthy or honest or have a good family the honesty and family will be the ones that suffer. What will happen is you will push aside everything that is really important to you and lose them. That will leave you more empty than you could have imagined. Simply make sure they are all compatible and can work together.

4. Write a paragraph of clarification under each unitying principle you wrote down. Be clear about what it means.
An example of one I wrote out is:
Be a woman of integrity. Be honest, trustworthy, consistent, dependable and reliable. Be someone that people can count on to be there for them. Always do what you say you will and make your actions in line with your values and priorities.” Doesn’t that make me accountable!

5. Prioritize the list. This one took me quit a bit of time to do, but as Hobbs says “your list of unifying principles is the most important list you will ever prioritize. The order you select can make a huge difference in how you perform.” Will you love yourself before you neighbor or vice versa? Take some time to think about these things.

In his book he gives a series of questions to ask yourself to help you priortize them in the best order.

6. Evaluate your performance over the past few weeks and months. Have you lived up to this order? You probably have in some areas and not in others. That is very typical. That is the purpose of doing this exercize. It will bring you in touch with reality. This will show you what you need to work on. This is the point where I saw that I was mostly doing the opposite of what was really important to me and saw the need for real change in my life.

For example, if one of your unifying principles is to be honest, you might ask yourself if you have been totally honest. Have you stretched the truth any to try to get your way or make yourself look good?

7. Bring your performance in line with your unifying principles. The best way to accomplish this is to schedule some time to yourself every morning when you completely cut yourself off from everything. At this time read over your unifying principles and focus on what is really important to you. This will help you to achieve concentration of power in your life.

Do you own a business? First lay out your personal unifying principles and then lay out the ones for your company. Personal priorities must always come first.

Well, maybe this will help you as much as it did me and give you a taste of why I love this book so much.

What is your feedback? Was this list helpful to you? What have you found helpful in keeping your priorities in order?

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Quiz: How mindful are you?

Big Picture, Peace, happiness, inner peace, relantionships, time management March 13th, 2008

This post directs you to a blog called the Happiness Project. Gretchen Rubin does an excellent job with this blog. I have been a part of for a while now and really enjoy it.

I love this quiz…. Do you see the big picture? Are mindful? It will tell you…

How do you score? I have to admit I answered yes many times.

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How to Make Your Day More Productive

Big Picture, Peace, evaluation, focus, goals, happiness, inner peace, leadership, marital satisfaction, priorities, success, time management, vision March 11th, 2008

Daily Evaluation
Do you ever feel like your day is spinning hopelessly out of control? I can identify! I am currently going through a book, Time Powerby Charles Hobbs, that is making me really think about things and do some major needed changes in my life. While he doesn’t mention it specifically (or hasn’t really yet anyway), this idea I’m going to blog about, it has certainly made me think a lot about it. The idea, the thought, is: evaluating your day at the end of each day.

Time Powerhas caused me to evaluate my entire life more than I ever have or knew that I could. I think it will be the most life changing thing I’ve ever done in my adult life. He has you to evaluate everything about your values and the way you live, but more on that in another post…..

Important or Urgent?
So this idea of daily evaluation….. Since I am now evaluating my life more, I have been thinking more at the close of each day about how I have spent my time, my day. I have come up with a list of questions to use to evaluate my day at it’s close. I hope they are helpful to you as well. I think I am going to start ranking each question on a scale from 1-10. Here are the questions:

Was it productive and efficient?

Did I do what I set out to do at the beginning of the day?

Did I waste my time?

Did I let fear and procrastination get the best of me?

Did my thoughts, attitudes and actions reflect my values and the significant people and things in my life? (Were my actions throughout the day a reflection of what is truly important to me?)

Did I spend my time working toward my clearly defined goals?

Or did I waste my time on things that were simply urgent, but not even remotely important? Did I rush around like a crazy person who has no control of time or her life in any way, “putting out fires” as some put it?

Or did I sit around watching TV all day or doing something meaningless like that?

For me, my struggle is putting out the insignificant fires - the things screaming for my attention that are urgent but not important. Many people get caught up into these things. If you feel like your life is spinning out of control asking yourself these questions can help get you focused.

What Next?
After ranking each question, the next question to ask is: “How can I improve? How can I make tomorrow better? Be specific and write down the answers to this question. Then at the beginning of each day, after you have gotten dressed for the day, look over this list of how to improve, along with your life goals. Then make a specific list of how to make your day match up with your goals. You may just be amazed at how much time you waste. I know I am amazed!

Time Power

Remember this quote by president Dwight Eisenhower: “Most things which are urgent are not important, and most things which are important are not urgent.”

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Urgent or Important?

Big Picture, Peace, focus, goals, gratitude, inner peace, marital satisfaction, priorities, time management, vision February 23rd, 2008

I have come across this quote before. I find it disturbing almost and I think I should. I think it’s meant to be disturbing - to make us think about what is really important and where our priorities are and what we should be spending our time doing. What do I need to reevaluate in my life???……



“Most things which are urgent are not important, and most things which are important are not urgent.”



- President Dwight Eisenhower

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