An Extraordinary Life

Big Picture, balance, focus, goals, inner peace, positive attitude, priorities, relantionships, responsibility, thinking errors June 26th, 2009

purple-sunset

photo by: law_keven

Anthony Robbins…. Have you heard of him?  If you’ve been into personal growth for very long it’s likely you have.  He lives and thrives on improving the quality of people’s lives.  I think that’s pretty noble.  Robbins was the featured guest In the January 2009 Issue of Success magazine.  There is an article about him in this issue followed by a question and answer session with him.  It is from that question and answer session that this post is based upon.  (Click here to read the full article and interview.)

In the last two posts I talked about deciding clearly who you want to be and about the value of saying yes and no to the right things.  As I was reading through this interview with Anthony Robbins I noticed that he took these things a step further, which I really appreciated and wanted to pass along to you.  Robbins poses a question for us to ask ourselves Read More »

8 Comments »

Should I or Should I not?

Raven's Brew Coffee, goals, happiness, inner peace, positive thinking, responsibility, thinking errors January 22nd, 2009

The time has finally come.  It’s been long in the making… and here it is….. the last of the thinking errors (see others in the list at the bottom of this post.)  And what a great series it has been as I have learned so much from you my readers and I thank you for that.  There are probably more thinking errors that you will notice as you go along this journey we call life, but most will fit into one of the categories we we have talked about here.  If you notice others I would love for you to drop me a line and let me know.  For now, let’s wrap up the last one on the list.

16. Should statements: using “shoulds”, “shouldn’ts”, “musts”, “oughts”, and “needs” to motivate yourself or others through guilt. Read More »

24 Comments »

Change Your Life One Thought at a Time - Part 4

inner peace, marital satisfaction, positive thinking, relantionships, responsibility, thinking errors September 4th, 2008

As we continue our discussion of thinking errors and how to change our life by changing our thinking it’s important to remember that thinking errors are lies - lies we tell ourselves.  And lies never bring about anything good.  We get ourselves into a very tangled mess when we participate in them.

If you missed the first three posts in this series you’ll want to be sure and check them out here:

Labeling and Jumping to conclusions

Filtering Out the Positive and polarized thinking

Overgeneralization

So let’s move on to discuss two more thinking errors in  which many people participate:

6.  Mind reading:  Concluding what others think and do without proof or being told by them

Who knows your thoughts?  Only you and God.  Who knows someone’s else’s thoughts?  Only that person and God.  Saying you know someone else’s thoughts is nothing more than false.  Mind reading gets into people’s Read More »

16 Comments »

Change Your Life - One Thought at a Time - Part 2

Big Picture, Peace, focus, goals, happiness, inner peace, marital satisfaction, positive attitude, positive thinking, relantionships, responsibility, thinking errors August 19th, 2008

This week we will continue our series on thinking errors.  If you haven’t yet read the post on labeling and jumping to conclusions then I encourage you to begin there.  I thought it would be best to keep these thinking errors to two to three errors per post so that they would have the greatest impact.  Learning about them is one thing, but knowing them intimately and mastering accurate thinking is the only way this information will make a difference in your life.

So let’s take a look at the next thinking errors:

3. Filtering out the positive in order to point out the negative

With this error people have a “filter” in their mind that only catches the negative.  The positive slides right Read More »

21 Comments »

Help!! I’m in Too Deep and I Need Out!

Big Picture, Peace, Uncategorized, focus, goals, happiness, inner peace, marital satisfaction, positive attitude, priorities, relantionships, responsibility, time management, wisdom May 13th, 2008

support LittleMillRocks.comHave you ever had your head spinning because you had so much going on, so many things to do? Chances are you have. Why is that? Why is life so cluttered with so much? Well, it doesn’t have to be. It wasn’t designed to be that way? So why is it? Let’s discuss….

The topic of simplicity has been prominent in my mind lately. I’ve been thinking about how we will have so much peace in our lives if we simply simplify.

How much time do we spend chasing after things that aren’t even important? How much time and energy do we spend chasing after money and material possessions? It seems that often that is what makes our lives so complex (not always, but often). “So you mean to tell me that we actually have control over the chaos and craziness in our lives? - that it doesn’t have to be so crazy and complex?” Absolutely. You always have the power to control how you live your life and to fill it with peace. But…. I know, there’s so much you have to do. I know… I know… I really do understand.

My husband and I were shopping for a clothes dryers a week or two ago. The one I wanted was a Fisher & Paykel. Ever heard of them? I hadn’t until about a year ago. They are the best on the market. They are a New Zealand company? What makes them so great? What does this have to do with anything? Fisher & Paykel are the best, yet they are the most simple machines out there. They have seven moving parts? Why? “The less moving parts, the less parts to tear up” is their moto. Well, I didn’t quiet want to pay the price tag on that dryer, so we bought a good ole American made dryer with lots of very cheap moving parts that will only last a few years. Maybe in about 5 years when my dryer breaks down, I’ll break down and shell out the dough for something that will last for more than five years.

So what can we learn from Fisher & Paykel? Simplicity - They have simplicity mastered. They have eliminated the unnecessary parts and only kept the absolute necessary ones for the dryer to work. So how can we eliminate the unnecessary things from our lives so that there is less to tear up or break down?

1. It is first of all important to understand why we make our lives complex. People are looking for peace. They are looking for happiness. They are looking for contentment. They are looking for approval. Because they don’t have these things on the inside, they look for it in outside - in things like possessions and activities. Working on making ourselves beautiful on the inside will eliminate the need for so many possessions and things to do on the outside.

2. Reducing our lives to the absolute necessary things by laying out what is most important to us is crucial if we want to have any semblance of sanity. Knowing what is most important is key to eliminating what is least importanat. This is such a liberating thing to do as it will free up so much time - time that we didn’t know we had because we were spending it on things that were’t even important to us to begin with.

3. Remember that the more things we have and buy the more responsibility we have and the more we have to worry about and be concerned with. The more things we have the more of our time and energy is required to tend to them. I know that when I was child I didn’t have a lot of toys - I had some, but not a ton of them, and I loved life as a kid. I didn’t need a lot of “things” to make me happy. I was content to go outside and play in the dirt or the woods beside my house. These days, kids have so many toys they could never possibly play with all of them and they never do. They can’t even fit them in their room or garage.

4.. Here are some questions we can ask ourselves to help simplify life:

  • “Which of the things I have and am doing now are the least important to me? Which are the most important to me?”
  • “If I were only given one month to live what would I spend my time doing?” What about one week? What about one day?
  • Before buying something, ask yourself, “Is this going to make my life more complicated? Will this free up my time to do what is really important or will this take time away from the things that are most important to me?”
  • “Will this thing or activity add value to me or to those that I love or will it take away value?”
  • “What did I enjoy as a child?” Chances are those are still the simple things that will still bring joy to you.
  • “How can I accomplish my goals and be the most effective with the least amount of time, resources and money?”
  • “Is this important or just urgent?”
  • And to sum it all up: “What can I do or elimate today to make my life less complex and enjoy it more?”

For more information on simplification I recommend these posts:

7 Ways to Eliminate Emotional Clutter

5 Axioms of Life: A Pathway to Happiness

5 Qualities I Find in Successful Entrepreneurs -  especially quality number 3.

Well, for some reason I can’t get this last link to work.  Simply go to http://yes-to-me.com/ and scroll down on the far right hand side to “Best of Yes to Me” and click on the first link there.  Point number 3 is the one I was drawn to on this post. 


Digg!

27 Comments »

Ingredients for Inner Peace - How to Get Your Priorities in Order

Peace, focus, inner peace, priorities, purpose, responsibility, time management April 8th, 2008

Would you agree that we are all looking for inner peace in our lives? Whether people realize it or not, that is really what we are all seeking - a way to do away with the chaos in our lives.

It is only when you align all your actions with your priorities that you will experience peace and success in all endeavors and be all that you can be.

This has been a lesson that I have learned the hard way and one that I have to continually remind myself of.

You have probably all heard me rave about my favorite book, Time Power: The Revolutionary Time Management System That Can Change Your Professional and Personal by Charles R. Hobbs. It has changed my thinking and my life in so many ways. It helped clearly define my priorities and put them in order. It has been amazing! Even though the book is about “time” management it really is about “life” management. It takes a lot of time to go through the book, and I am still not finished with it, but it is well worth ALL the time I have put into it! The book is now out of print, but a few used copies are still lurking around.

I thought I would take some time to share with you why I love this book so much:

Why is this book so transformational? What does it teach?

Well, first of all, if you want to get your life together and have any kind of control over it instead of it controlling you, Hobbs suggest these things:

1. Make a list of what you value most; identify your highest priorities in life.
Hobbs calls these unifying principles. Do you value honesty, integrity, family, God, leadership, responsibility, friendships, etc.? What about faith, humility discipline. Make a list of all the things that are most important to you. Be thorough and honest. Some people start our with only a few and add more in the coming weeks and months, while others write down many upfront. It depends on you and what works for you.

2. Since the priorites you make a list of are broad, the next step is to rewrite each principle as an action statement. For example, if you wrote down “honesty” as a unifying principle, you would now write something like “be honest.” “Family might become “support my family.” Whatever it means to you and causes you to rise to action.

3. Make sure your unifying principles are the noblest of ideas and mutually compatible. If you write down “become wealthy whatever the cost” that will be in conflict with your other principles, because when faced with the decision to be wealthy or honest or have a good family the honesty and family will be the ones that suffer. What will happen is you will push aside everything that is really important to you and lose them. That will leave you more empty than you could have imagined. Simply make sure they are all compatible and can work together.

4. Write a paragraph of clarification under each unitying principle you wrote down. Be clear about what it means.
An example of one I wrote out is:
Be a woman of integrity. Be honest, trustworthy, consistent, dependable and reliable. Be someone that people can count on to be there for them. Always do what you say you will and make your actions in line with your values and priorities.” Doesn’t that make me accountable!

5. Prioritize the list. This one took me quit a bit of time to do, but as Hobbs says “your list of unifying principles is the most important list you will ever prioritize. The order you select can make a huge difference in how you perform.” Will you love yourself before you neighbor or vice versa? Take some time to think about these things.

In his book he gives a series of questions to ask yourself to help you priortize them in the best order.

6. Evaluate your performance over the past few weeks and months. Have you lived up to this order? You probably have in some areas and not in others. That is very typical. That is the purpose of doing this exercize. It will bring you in touch with reality. This will show you what you need to work on. This is the point where I saw that I was mostly doing the opposite of what was really important to me and saw the need for real change in my life.

For example, if one of your unifying principles is to be honest, you might ask yourself if you have been totally honest. Have you stretched the truth any to try to get your way or make yourself look good?

7. Bring your performance in line with your unifying principles. The best way to accomplish this is to schedule some time to yourself every morning when you completely cut yourself off from everything. At this time read over your unifying principles and focus on what is really important to you. This will help you to achieve concentration of power in your life.

Do you own a business? First lay out your personal unifying principles and then lay out the ones for your company. Personal priorities must always come first.

Well, maybe this will help you as much as it did me and give you a taste of why I love this book so much.

What is your feedback? Was this list helpful to you? What have you found helpful in keeping your priorities in order?

19 Comments »

How Big are You?

Big Picture, Peace, focus, happiness, humility, inner peace, opportunities, positive attitude, positive thinking, purpose, responsibility April 7th, 2008
I have this shirt from my college days that has this quote on it by John Donne

No man is

an Island,

entire of

itself; every

man is a

piece of

the

Continent,


a part

of the

main….

I have been thinking about this quote a lot and how it goes along with many of my blog posts on Steps to Happiness. I wanted to share it as a reminder that the world is bigger than we are. Let’s continue to think about what we can do to make a contribution to this world.

What contribution will you make today……?
4 Comments »

Steps to Happiness - Part 6 - Happy People Don’t Seek Happiness

Peace, focus, gratitude, happiness, humble, humility, inner peace, positive attitude, positive thinking, principles, priorities, purpose, responsibility April 2nd, 2008

We are nearing the end of our articles on Steps to Happiness. Thank you for joining us.
To read the previous articles in this series go to:

In our last article we discussed what happy people say to themselves every day and how they view things. As promised, in this article we will talk about why happy people are able to view things as they do.
Who is it all about?
So here it is…. the secret that ALL happy people possess…. They realize the world is bigger than themselves – that the world does not revolve around them. What do we mean exactly by this?
Happy people are not focused on their own happiness. They are not seeking happiness. They are seeking to bring others happiness.
Happy people go about their lives looking for ways to enhance other people’s lives. They are seeking ways to bring a smile to someone else’s face and heart. They seek peace and joy for others.

And why do they do this? Let’s take this even a step further – to the real reason…

Who is it really about?
They realize that life is all about God, not about themselves.
Happy people realize their purpose for being here in this world. They realize that they are here to bring glory to God so they seek to know God and to form and maintain a relationship with Him. They seek to bring God glory in all they do. That includes bringing others joy.
The Void
I realize that for some people that I have made a bold statement, but you see, as long as someone does not have a relationship with God there will ALWAYS be a hole, a void in their lives - something missing. This point can be argued, but it does not change the fact that a person will always have this void that can only be filled by God and a relationship with Him. It’s the way we are made.
Someone can refuse to accept this and go live the life they choose and do whatever they want, but they will always be brought back to this truth. They will always have this void unless and until they form a relationship with God, realize it’s all about God and then seek to make others happy. Filling this void gives people purpose and meaning. This is why happy people are able to look at everything as an opportunity – an opportunity to bring glory to God.
It is important to note that a true relationship with God takes commitment, but the joys and rewards are innumerable…. way beyond what anyone could ever imagine!!!
What Now?

So the question arises… How do I come to know God and form a relationship with Him? The best free resources I have found are

http://www.wbschool.org/ and
www.housetohouse.com/hth/freebies/

Exercises:

Use the above resources to learn about God and form a relationship with Him.

As you go throughout your day look for ways to bring joy to others. Act on it.

6 Comments »

Powered by eShop v.2