Principles for Peace

I think it is pretty safe to say that peace of mind is only possible if we learn to stop rumination or negative thinking.  In a recent post by Dr. Nicole Sundene of Kitchen Table Medicine, Dr. Nicole discussed whether or not we can always think positive.  I think it is safe to say that we can train our minds to always have a positive attitude, but let’s face it we are all humans and negative thoughts can creep up.  Today’s post will focus on what to do when negative thoughts do come to mind.

In SFT Awareness, we teach students how to process and remove emotional pain which prevents and eliminates most depression.  It’s similar to Tim Brownson’s teaching of reframing.  There’s something very valuable that we teach students in SFT that prevents them from completing a behaviour cycle that leads to depression and addictions.  It’s called stopping rumination.  What is rumination you ask?  Rumination was a word that I had actually never heard of before learning SFT. 

Rumination is basically a fancy word for negative thinking.  Rumination occurs when a pain event happens - anything you don’t like.  When something happens that a person doesn’t like a process starts that is very similar to cows chewing their cud.  The person will draw on past similar negative experiences.  One negative thought leads to another and another and another.  Then the person will go back to the first thought and chew on it some more and then the next thought and chew on it - over and over again the person thinks about all the negatives of something he/she doesn’t like.  As one of my teachers, Gary Washer, puts it, it is like someone losing their keys and then looking for them in the same places over and over again.  Ever done that?  I know I have.

If someone allows rumination to take place, depression is right around the corner.  Notice I used the word “allows.”  This implies that something can be done about it.  So….

How can you stop negative thinking in its tracks?

1.  The first step in stopping negative thinking is to become aware that you are thinking negative. That may sound silly, but once you start to become conscious of it, you’ll be surprised.  Remember that a pain event is anything you don’t like.  So start to become aware or conscious of things you don’t like.  Notice when you first begin feeling angry, frustrated, sad, stressed or any negative feeling.  That’s the first step.  Train yourself to become conscious.

2.  Make a decision not to think about or dwell on the situation or thing UNTIL you are calmed down and in a better frame of mind. (more on that later.) (Click here to see what the ideal conditions are).

3.  Watch your self talk.

*  Some people at this point may say.  “I can’t stop thinking negative.”  Well if you tell yourself that, then guess what?  ….You can’t.  Change your self talk to “I don’t have to think negative.  I don’t like this and that’s okay, but I choose not to let it ruin my life.  I choose to think positive.  I can stop rumination.  I choose to have peace of mind” This is very liberating!

*  Remind yourself: “What I think on expands.” If you choose to think on the problem the problem will get bigger.  If you tell yourself at this point that “good and opportunities will come from this” your subconscious will begin trying to figure out how good can come from it even though you are not consciously thinking about it.      At this time I like to remind myself of one of my favorite Bible verses: 

“For God causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to his purpose.” - Romans 8:28

Then move on….

4.  Replace the time you normally spend in negative thinking with something else. In other words, distract the mind.  A hobby is a great thing to get involved in - especially one that involves the mind.  If you have a hobby you enjoy then participate in that hobby at this time.  If you don’t have a hobby, then find one.  Do a Google search for hobbies if you need to do so.  Be creative.

5.  Draw near to God. Prayer and Bible study will help to turn your focus off of yourself and onto God instead.  I like to remind myself that life is about God, not me.   One thing that helps me stop ruminating more than anything else are these two CD’s:  Glorious God a Cappella Worship and Awesome God: An a Cappella Worship Series. It put’s my life in perspective fast!  (I love these CD’s!).

6.  Think on good things. Think about all the blessings you have and dwell on them.  The best way I have found to do this is to make a list of my blessings at a time when I’m not already upset and then keep it with me.  If a pain event occurs I can pull out my list and read it over and over again.  It sure beats thinking negative thoughts over and over again.

Now, you’re one step closer to having peace of mind….

Happy peaceful living!

For further help on learning to think positive I recommend the great one minute affirmations at:  Think Positive Blog.

What are some ways that you prevent negative thinking?

Who can explain how this picture relates to this post?

photo by:  tonystl

As we look closer at what holds us back from inner peace this may very well be the most crucial topic that we have discussed so far.  Not only that, I also believe it is the most critical thing that could ever hold us back from acheiving inner peace or any goal we ever set for ourselves.  Although, a person’s desire to have inner peace and willingness to let go of the things that hold them back are certainly the foundations.  If you are new to the discussion you will find it very helpful to first read our previous posts on this subject by clicking here and here.

We have hit on this several times over the past couple of posts, especially in the discussion sections, but I didn’t want to go too deep into it at the time.  I was waiting for the right time…..

IR Rating

Okay, my question for you is, “What is your IR rating?”  You may think I’m a little confused here and that the “R” should be a “Q.”  No, we’re not talking about your intellegence quotient.  I think we can safely say that you can have peace with about any IQ score.  So what in the world is IR?  I thought you would never ask.

In the latest issue of Success Magazine, the publisher, Darren Hardy, does an exclusive audio interview with Paul J. Meyer, an incredible icon in the personal growth industry.  I have been totally blown away by this man through this interview. 

Darren asked Paul what he did to combat fear in the beginning of his ventures.  He told the story of how he was fortunate to have his mother to tell him at the age of 12 about the IR theory.  She said that who he was was his IDENTITY and on a scale of 1-10  asked how would he RATE himself?  She told him to rate himself a 10 for the rest of his life.  She said, “Do not let anyone, any time, ever say anything or do anything that affects who you are and your identity.  You’re a 10.  You came into this world a 10 and you’re going out a 10.  You started the day a 10 and your going to finish the day a 10.”  (If you haven’t figured it out yet, IR stands for Identity Rating.)  We could also call this IR a belief in yourself. 

Mr. Meyer said that he enters every day without the possibility of defeat.  It never enters his mind that he could fail at anything.  He says that he has a no limitations belief in God and a no limitations belief in himself.  The question is: Has this worked for him?   His life is example that it has.  He walks his talk.  Is he successful in business?  Oh yeah!!!  Just do a little research on him.  For our purposes here, was he a master at inner peace?  His life speaks of that very loud and clear.

Are you beginning to see how a score lower than 10 can hold you back???  If you don’t have a score of 10 do you think it is possible to acheive anything?  I believe that belief in yourself is the number one ingredient necessary to acheive anything in life, whether it be peace or any goal you set for yourself.

A few things for you to consider:  *IMPORTANT* These are not things to take lightly.

* What is your IR on a scale of 1-10?  (Do you have limiting beliefs in yourself? )

* Why is that your score?

* Who have you let tell you that you are not a 10?  Why?  What can you do to move forward? (Is forgiveness in order?)

* Have you allowed yourself to tell you that you are not a 10?  Why?  How can you overcome that?

* Do you have limiting beliefs in God?  What can you do to change that?

* Is your IR causing you to fear failure?   Remember: the past does not equal the future!  (that is…. unless you allow it to do so.  Then you allow your thoughts to become a self fulfilling prophesy.)

* The world gives you the exact same IR you give yourself.  You project that number at all times.

* Make a resolution to change your rating to a 10 - TODAY.  Write on an index card   “I am a 10.  God made me a 10 and that will never change.”  Carry it with you wherever you go.  Look at it when you get up in the morning and when you go to bed and often through out the day.  (I just made this card for myself.)

I HIGHLY recommend subscribing to Success Magazine if you are interesting in growing to become a better person.  Each issue has a free audio CD in it that is worth more than the subscription itself in my opinion.   You can download a free copy of the current issue to your computer, but you miss out on the CD that has so much great information.

Consider learning other gems from Paul J. Meyer.  He is an amazing man with lots to teach us.  Some of his most influential works are in a series called “Believing in Yourself.”

Harness the Power of Your Attitude (Believing in Yourself Set, Volume 1 of 5)

Positive Expectancy to Win (Believing in Yourself Set, Volume 2 of 5)

The Courage to Succeed (Believing in Yourself Set, Volume 3 of 5)

Never, Never, Never Give Up! (Believing in Yourself Set, Volume 4 of 5)

There’s Magic in Believing (Believing in Yourself Set, Volume 5 of 5) 

(Last I checked there were only one or two copies of each one.)

Share your thoughts on this post.  Tell your score if you want and how you plan to move your score to a 10. 

photo by: Darren Hester

In our last post, we discussed the importance of discovering what holds us back from acheiving what we want or from being where we want to be. 

With all we said last week, there are some things to keep in mind as you work to figure out what is holding you back.  We had some great discussion that I would encourage you to read if you have not yet.  A common theme that kept appearing in the discussion (which was already going to be a major point of this current post) was…

photo by:  _Gene_

* Don’t obsess over or stay focused on what is holding you back.  Work to figure these things out, but don’t obsess over the problem.  Remember that what you focus on expands, as Andrea Hess noted in our comment section in the last post.  Stay focused on moving forward when you do work to figure out what is holding you back. THE INTENTION SHOULD ALWAYS BE TO LEARN FROM WHAT’S HOLDING YOU BACK SO THAT YOU CAN MOVE FORWARD. 

* It is common to have fear of self discovery.  Don’t allow this to stop or cripple you.  Remember the purpose is to make you a better person, not to wallow in self pity.  I used to fear looking deep into my life.  Now I want to look there so that I can grow from it and become better.

* Don’t get discouraged if you can’t figure it out immediately and don’t try too hard.  Suggest to yourself that you will figure it out.  Set aside some time to think about it, say 20 minutes.  Pray that God will help reveal these things to you.  But don’t try too hard.  Sometimes the harder we try the more we are working against ourselves.  You may simply let your mind wander and see where it takes you and then move on.  If you haven’t figured anything out after this time, don’t fret about it.  It will come to you.  Just focus on moving forward and go on.  Our continued discussion will serve to reveal these things to you so that you can learn and grow.

* Once you figure out something that is holding you back, say to yourself, “Great, now I know how to move forward!”  Then write down what has been holding you back and what you are going to do to overcome it and act on it immediately.  Do you really want one more wasted day?  Knowledge alone will get you nowhere.  It will take action - action that will get you where you want to be. 

Okay, now that you are not stuck on the problems, let’s get specific.  To stay with our theme, the focus will be on what holds you back from inner peace.   Many of the same principles can apply to any goal you set.

Let’s take a look at some blockers and how to overcome them.

Lack of knowledge -  Many people don’t have peace in their lives simply because they don’t know how to have peace in their lives.  That is the purpose of this blog.  I’m assuming that most of you are here because you want to know how to have that peace.  Keep reading.  Knowledge is key.   

Fear of the unknown or letting go - Many people are in their comfort zone and are afraid of pushing forward to the peace that is on the other side.  Fear of getting away from the things with which they are familiar is very frightening.  If this describes you, rest assured that what is on the other side is well worth the effort.  Write down somewhere, “I recognize that I am afraid, but I realize that what is on the other side is much better.  It is worth letting go of the things with which I am familiar in order to have peace in my life.  I resolve to let go of all of it.”  Let your mind focus on that for a minute.

photo by: Dan4th

Lack of consciousness or awareness- Some people are stuck in autopilot without even the awareness that they do not have peace.  They simply live their lives like they always have without a second thought, always doing what they have always done and not even knowing why.  They do not know that they can change their lives by changing their thinking.  They are just trying to get through the day instead of getting something from the day.  If this is you, stay tuned to see how you can change your thoughts to change your life.  Begin thinking about what you can do to get something out of the day.  What can you do to brighten someone else’s day?  Become aware of the negative thought patterns in your mind and begin replacing them with postive ones.

Lack of focus -  Certainly focus is important.  As we stated earlier, what you focus on expands.  Do you want peace.  Focus on peace.  Is there chaos in your life?  Are you focused on the chaos?  Are you surrounded by problems.  Are you focued on them?  What if you asked yourself how you could turn these problems into peace?  How would you do that?  It takes intention.  It takes focus - concentrated focus. 

Are you focused on the right things?  What are your priorities?  If you don’t know, it’s time to think about them and write them down and number them.  If you don’t know what your priorities are peace will never be possible in your life.  Priorities are a must!  Priorities allow you to focus.

More ways to move forward next time….

What are some more things that you have discovered that has held you back?

Have you ever wanted something so bad you just couldn’t stand it?  Have you ever wondered why you just can’t achieve something or move forward?  You want something or you set goals, but no matter how hard you try you just can’t get there?  You’re not alone?  There have been many times in my lifetime when I set goals and I could never seem to reach them.  One goal after another and nothing, nothing.  Very frustrating to say the least. 

I have been thinking about a question related to this now for several weeks.  It has pervaded my mind and I keep thinking about it.  So I posed the question to my husband a week or so ago.  Do you have to figure out what is holding you back from acheiving something in order to acheive it or can you simply make a goal and be so focused that you acheive it?  My husband thought for a moment and then said, “I don’t know.”  Later he said to me “Honey, I think you’re becoming a philosopher with some of the questions you ask me.”  :)  I certainly never thought of myself as a philosopher, but I do enjoy thinking and figuring things out now - something I never took the time to do earlier in my life.

My conclusion, from years of expereience, is that yes, you have to recognize and figure out what is holding you back from accomplishing something and work to process and remove that thing so that you can move forward.  Everyone may not agree with me here, and I’d love to hear what you have to say if you don’t.

Do you want inner peace and happiness?  Do you want success?  Do you want to be the best at something important to you?  Do you want to leave a legacy?  What is stopping you?  That is what I want us to discover.

How do I figure out what is holding me back?

* Look deep and ask the quesion, “Why?”  Now there are two ways to ask the question, “Why?”  One way says, “Why me?”  or “Why is this happning to me? (or why did this happen to me?)”  In other words, “poor pitiful me.”  The other way to ask “why?” is to ask it in order to find the answers to what is holding you back and what you can learn from it.  This could be in the form of “Why am I not reaching my goals?  What is holding me back?  How can I learn from it and change it so that peace can prevail or so that I can move forward to reach my goals? 

* Realize that when you ask the question “Why?” that it is probably something deep burried in your subconscious mind.  This is not always the case, but often it it.  Nonetheless, it is something you are doing or not doing that is holding you back.  It is your weaknesses that you are not aware of.  Keep looking deeper and deeper and asking “why?” over and over again until you figure out the answer.  In Jeffrey Liker’s  book, The Toyota Way, he tells of how the Japanese in the Toyota company ask the question, “Why?” five times in order to find the source of a problem so they can improve upon it.  What you will likely discover when you do this is that…

* Beliefs are usually the things that are holding you back.  When you find these beliefs the next questions to ask are “Why?” (yes, again!)  Why do I hold these beliefs?  Where did they come from?  Are these beliefs real or accuarate?  Now that I see these beliefs what can I learn from them?  How can I change my thinking in order to change my beliefs, in order to accomplish what I want?  How can I use this information to help me have peace of mind and/or success at something? 

* Understanding how beliefs work can go a long way.  Beliefs form habits, habits that we are often not even aware of and these habits dictate your actions and your entire life without you even realizing it is happening.  You see, no amount of positive talk can get you where you want to be if you have negative beliefs burried deep within you telling you the complete opposite.  Uncover and remove the negative so that you can believe the positive.  Once you believe it you can acheive it as Napolean Hill says in his time tested best seller book, Think and Grow Rich.  If the voice burried deep within you says, “You’re no good.  You’ll never accomplish anything.  It’s not really possible for you to have peace” then it is right.  You will not until you first recognize that voice, figure out where it came from and then replace it with an accurate thought and belief.

One of the reasons I like Dr. Nicole  so much is because she uses the “why? approach to physical problems.  She digs deep asking why, why, why til she gets to the root of the problem, exposes it and there finds the solution.  She figures out what is holding people back from good health.  This is evident in her post about McInflamation and Tell Me What’s in Your Shopping Cart and I’ll Tell You What Is Wrong with You.

* Often the beliefs burried deep within you that are holding you back are fears.  Benny Greenberg is doing an excellent series on this topic of fear now which helps to reveal those fears that you may have hidden deep within you.  Recognizing these fears and learning to replace them can go a long way towards helping you have the life that you want - that peace of mind we all want. 

In the next few posts we will discuss some tips and some more things that hold us back along with the things that we can do to overcome them. 

In the meantime, this is open for discussion.  I would love to hear what you have to say about all of this.  What are some things that you have figured out that has held you back? 

 

Does the thought of paying the bills make you cringe? If so, you are not alone.

This post is a special request from none other than Dr. Nicole Sundene. I bet she never thought I would actually write a post with this title. I find it interesting that Dr. Nicole wrote a post about heartburn after suggesting that I write one about “the art of peaceful bill paying.” It must be a really sour task for her. At first I just laughed at this suggestion (which I think she meant for me to do), but then I put some more thought into it and asked myself, “How many people do struggle with this bill paying stuff?” Do you? Bill paying used to be one of my husband’s biggest soap boxes. He would rant and rave and rant and rave about it and then rant some more. So the more I thought about it, the more I realized this was a real issue for people. Can we find peace in bill paying??? While I don’t claim to be a financial expert, I have learned a lot and I have some suggestions that just might help you have some peace about paying your bills:

1. My first suggestion to find peace in bill paying is to set aside some intentional alone time when you are rested and fresh where you can think clearly with no distractions. In order for us to ever move forward to better things in any area of our lives, we must first uncover the problem or our negative thoughts that are causing us mental anguish. So, in this situation, we must first uncover what we do not like about bill paying. Then we can replace it with some good thoughts. So at this time you have set aside, ask yourself some questions and write down the answers….

What are your thoughts and feelings about bill paying? What is it that I do not like about paying bills? Is it the time it takes to pay them? Do I hate letting go of my money? Do I not have enough money to pay my bills? Am I giving the majority of my money to credit card companies? Am I paying for things that aren’t really important? Uncover what it is exactly. Keep asking yourself questions until you figure out what is causing the anguish. Asking “why?” repeatedly after asking the initial questions may be very beneficial to get to the root of the problem.

2. Simplify! Simplify! and/or get a better and higher paying job. Look at your bills. Are you struggling to have enough money to pay your bills? If so, the problem is either one of two things here. Either there is an overspending issue or a higher paying job or career path is the answer.

Are you spending money on things and more things that promise to bring you happiness, but never do? Are the things you are buying or putting on your credit card leaving you empty and broke? If so, this is an overspending issue caused by a lack of inner peace (therefore, you’re looking for happiness on the outside) or maybe it’s just a lack of control. Learning to control your spending or simplifying your life to the things that really bring you happiness and peace and then identifying and eliminating the things that do not may be the key. Remember this rule: Don’t spend what you don’t have.  Thankfully, money managment is a skill that can be learned. My favorite financial guru and teacher is Dave Ramsey. His books: The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness, The Total Money Makeover Workbook, The Financial Peace Planner: A Step-by-Step Guide to Restoring Your Family’s Financial Health are life changing. Learning from his time tested principles has changed the way I think about money.

If you are living on the basics and still don’t have enough money then it’s time to do some soul searching and either change jobs or find your purpose and vision in life. Are you settling for the job you have now? You’re worth more than that! You were made for greatness not mediocrity!

3. As Tim Brownson says, Attitude is Everything! although Doc KC says some other factors play a role in our thinking. (Doc KC has some very valid points, but I have to say I lean more towards Tim’s view on this one, as I think Benny Greenberg would as well.)

Now that we have uncovered the negative thoughts that go along with bill paying, we have to find some positive thoughts to replace them. And it is possible that these positive thoughts will lead to the ugly word….. action. Oh no! Don’t fret though. It will all be worth it. It’s all changes for the better.

Try to look for the opposite of the negative thought you have uncovered or for the action it would require to make it positive.

Do you have enough money to pay your bills? It’s time to hit your knees and thank God for all the ways He has blessed you. Heading into paying the bills with this attitude of gratitude will change how you look at paying the bills. As you write each bill thank God for the money to pay that one. You may even start to look forward to paying the bills!

Do you not have enough money to pay the bills? Great! Yes, that’s right - Great! Look for opportunites ahead. You always have a choice in everything you do. I will say that again - You always have a choice in everything you do. Thank God for all the opportunities ahead that will make it possible to pay the bills and start looking for the opportunities and make it happen.

Is it a lack of time that is plaguing you? Great! This is an opportunity to learn and apply some time management skills.

Are you still paying for your student loans? Be thankful that you had and took to opportunity to go to school.

In other words, start programing your mind to think gratitude, solution and opportunity instead of yuck, yuck, yuck, not again!

4. And lastly, learn the art of online bill pay.  Just make sure your internet connection is secure before you do this. At one time my husband threatened to feed all the bills to the garbage disposal. Then one day he happened to discover this online bill pay thing and every since then he has been one happy camper. It takes him about one minute to get on, click “make payment” and he’s done. This has taken so much hassle out of bill paying and has given him much peace.

Happy peaceful bill paying to you!

What are the things that cause you anguish in bill paying?

What have you learned that brings you peace in bill paying?

To read the precious articles in this series please go to:

Are You a Puppet on Strings? - Taking Back Control of Your Life
Steps to Happiness – Part 2Steps to Happiness - Part 3 - Does this Stuff Really Work?
Steps to Happiness – Part 4 - Who is Master?
Steps to Happiness – Part 5 - Choose What Kind of Chicken You’ll be before an Egg Hatches
Steps to Happiness - Part 6 - Happy People Don’t Seek Happiness

A thankful heart is the parent of all virtues.

- Cicero

This last article on Steps to Happiness has come to be my favorite although I didn’t know it would at the time. This gratititude thing has presented itself to me over and over again and I soon came to see that as Cicero said it truly is the “parent of all virutes.” The more this idea presents itself and the more I think about it the more I come to see that it is the foundation of all the other steps. Maybe it should have been first. But, then again maybe the other steps are necessary in order to be grateful…..I guess you could look at it both ways. Either way, I’m just being constantly reminded that I need improvement in this area of my life (and for that I’m grateful!).

As this idea kept presenting itself me I was refered to a book. After researching the book I can say that it will be my next purchase (soon) and one that I can recommend to my readers. It is called Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier. I can’t say it’s a “new science,” but it certainly looks like something we can all learn from. (Don’t you love how in this world of blogging we can end a sentence with a preposition.:) I always wanted to do that. My English teachers would not be proud. :))

When we take on this new attititude (really, it’s like a whole world view) and TRULY INTERNALIZE it, it changes how we see EVERYTHING and how we think and act and treat everyone including ourselves.

Well, enough babbling……

Gratitude….

Does it ever seem like you just don’t have anything? Do you often find yourself complaining about the things you don’t have? Are you not getting what you want out of relationships? These are serious issues for many people and it seems like a solution is nowhere in sight. So what can be done about it?

Developing and maintaining an attitude of gratitude is a must in order to find solutions to these problems and to lead a life of happiness. Without this attitude one will lead a miserable life at best, but with it the blessings abound. So the question arises, “If it is so important then what is it and how do I achieve it?” That’s the question I asked for a long time. Discovering the secret was life transforming.

I remember the first time that I encountered someone who had a true spirit of gratitude. I totally could not understand it. I remember thinking “I wish I could be like that.” – not realizing that I really could be. She had always been one of my favorite people, but it wasn’t until this day that I figured out why. Her husband was basically in a vegetable state and at the point of death and she said to me, “He may not live, much longer. I’m just thankful for the time we’ve had together.” I thought, “Wow, that is an amazing attitude!”

What is an attitude of gratitude?

Before we go any further, we need to recognize that attitude is a mindset; it’s a way of life, a constant way of being – of looking at things. It is something that we internalize. We define gratitude as being thankful. So we could define attitude of gratitude as a constant spirit or state of thankfulness.

So how do I develop this attitude?

First, and probably the most obvious recommendation, look around at all the people who have it worse than you do. There is always someone out there that is in worse shape than you are. If you’re not convinced then watch the news (although I try not to do that because it is so negative.) You will always find someone who is in a more troubling situation than you. It will put you in your place very fast.

Second, recognize that EVERY blessing you have is a gift from God – everything from, a roof over your head, to food to eat, to (hot) water to take a bath, to the people in your life, to the air that you breath, to life itself, to time. Not only is it a gift from God, it is a gift from God that you do not even deserve. This is not a “poor pitiful me, I’m not good enough for anything” attitude. It is exactly the opposite - recognizing how truly blessed you are and realizing that we are all sinful people that God chooses to bless anyway. He just blesses those people much more who live their lives for Him (I am not talking monetarily, although it can be included).

Truly happy people recognize that everything they have is not only a gift that they don’t deserve, but that it is a gift to be used for God’s glory. (This attitude changes how you treat everyone.) God really blesses these people. They also recognize that any of it could be taken away at any time and that is okay because they never really even deserved it in the first place.

When you view everything as a gift something almost magical happens. These things begin to transform into something beautiful. If we treat the people in our lives as a gift, then our relationships start to change and take on a whole new beautiful form.

Third, focus on what you DO have, not on what you do not have. There’s a secret. It goes like this: What you focus on expands. If you think about and focus on what you do not have you will just keep having nothing because nothing expanded is still nothing. If you focus on what you do have, you will be amazed at the blessings that come into your life. (Focusing on positive things always creates more positive thoughts. Focusing on negative things always creates more negative thoughts.)

Fourth, give of your abundance – your newly discovered blessings- cheerfully (even if it seems like very little). You always get back in direct proportion to what you give. If you give a little, you get a little back. If you give a lot you get a lot back.

Remember how we deal with life is always a choice. From experience, I can tell you it is well worth finally choosing gratitude.

Exercises:

1. Make a list of all your blessings. Read the list at least twice a day.
   
2. When you start to think about all the things you don’t have, just replace it with 3 things that you do have (and your mind will show you even more blessings that you do have.)
   Ex. If you only have $2 to you name. Think “Wow, I have $2, instead of thinking I ONLY have $2. Then think of two other blessings to go along with it. Remember someone out there has lost everything they owned in some tragic event. Even if you have lost everything you own, be thankful for life itself and the opportunities ahead of you instead of focusing on the problem itself.

http://www.wbschool.org/ and
www.housetohouse.com/hth/freebies/

Exercises:

Use the above resources to learn about God and form a relationship with Him.

As you go throughout your day look for ways to bring joy to others. Act on it.