Principles for Peace

“Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts.”

-Daniel Patrick Moynihan

Are you thinking more positive and accurate?  Hasn’t this been an amazing series!  I have learned so much from you my readers in this discussion.  You  have helped me to better train my mind in the areas of accurate and positive thinking.  Thank you!  Just a few more thinking errors to discuss.  Don’t forget that as we learn these errors it’s crucial to replace them with accurate thinking when you catch them.  Your attempts at first my be a little weak, but with practice you will become a pro at accurate thinking.

In reality, a positive attitude is one of the foundations for accurate thinking.  However, working to eliminate thinking errors and replacing them with accurate thinking certainly helps you to think positive.  They both go hand in hand.

If you feel something does that make it true? Read More »

“All the days of the afflicted are evil.  But he who is of a merry heart has a continual feast.”        - Proverbs 15:15

I’m pitiful.

There’s just no hope.

Nobody loves me.

I’ll never amount to anything.

I’m just stuck in this pitiful ole’ life of mine.

Nothing will ever change.

Well, I guess that’s just the way things are going to be for me.

That’s the way the cookie crumbles.

That figures.  That’s just my Read More »

“A man who does not think for himself does not think at all” - Oscar Wilde

Do you ever just stop to think?

I have a confession to make.  I have a bad habit. It’s called thinking. Well okay, it’s not really a bad habit, but I sure do a lot of it these days. I used to just take everything as I “knew” it to be.  Now, I’m constantly thinking - thinking about how to improve my life, improve my thinking.  Everything I do originates with my thoughts so improvement must start there.

Last week after writing my last post on the realities we create for ourselves and after attending the last lesson of another SFT seminar simply to hone my skills, I went into deep thought and decided to conduct an experiment.  I began to think about how we all view the world from our own set of rose colored glasses.  This can be good, bad or neutral.  Every time we see something or someone, every time an event happens Read More »

We find what we’re focused on.

“The more you believe in something, the more you will experience it.  For instance, if you think people are generally evil and the kind who will take advantage of you, well, then you will experience that!  If you believe the world is mostly made up of good, honorable people, then that’s what you’ll have in your life.  It’s an energy thing - like attracts like.” - Stephen Hopson

I began writing a post yesterday (actually now, it was day before yesterday), but my thoughts and experiences led me to write this one instead.  I was already in the process of writing about this when I came across Stephen Hopson’s comment (above) on my interview at his blog.  Was that Read More »

As we continue our discussion of thinking errors and how to change our life by changing our thinking it’s important to remember that thinking errors are lies - lies we tell ourselves.  And lies never bring about anything good.  We get ourselves into a very tangled mess when we participate in them.

If you missed the first three posts in this series you’ll want to be sure and check them out here:

Labeling and Jumping to conclusions

Filtering Out the Positive and polarized thinking

Overgeneralization

So let’s move on to discuss two more thinking errors in  which many people participate:

6.  Mind reading:  Concluding what others think and do without proof or being told by them

Who knows your thoughts?  Only you and God.  Who knows someone’s else’s thoughts?  Only that person and God.  Saying you know someone else’s thoughts is nothing more than false.  Mind reading gets into people’s Read More »

This week we will continue our series on thinking errors.  If you haven’t yet read the post on labeling and jumping to conclusions then I encourage you to begin there.  I thought it would be best to keep these thinking errors to two to three errors per post so that they would have the greatest impact.  Learning about them is one thing, but knowing them intimately and mastering accurate thinking is the only way this information will make a difference in your life.

So let’s take a look at the next thinking errors:

3. Filtering out the positive in order to point out the negative

With this error people have a “filter” in their mind that only catches the negative.  The positive slides right Read More »

The kick off of our thinking error series will be postponed for a few more days.  I wanted everyone to have the opportunity to check out my guest post, 4 Invaluable Aspects of Positive Thinking,  on the Positive Thinking Day site.  Positive Thinking Day is fast approaching!  If you are unaware of what Positive Thinking Day is Read More »

Have you ever been so angry that you just couldn’t think straight?  Chances are you have - more than once.  I know I have at times.  Have you ever been so hungry that you just couldn’t think?  And if you did it was either in the form of “I THINK you better get out of my way now!” or in the form of a big juicy steak and baked potato.  Peace turns into disaster fast under these circumstances.  That’s the way we operate.  Certain needs have to be met in order for us to be at our best and to think the clearest. 

In my last post I wrote about a very valuable lesson on how to stop rumination. If you haven’t read that post yet, I highly recommend it.  In that post, one of the points was about not thinking about a pain event until you are calmed down and are in a better frame of mind.  Today we will discuss the conditions favorable for taking a look at a pain event.  One of my favorite parts of this lesson is that it’s a great preventative technique also.  It’s something I try to use on a daily basis. 

This is one of the most simple lessons we teach in SFT Awareness, yet once you see it you’ll probably agree that not only have you violated it many times over, but that you’ve seen others do the same. 

When processing a pain event it’s important to create the favorable conditions to process it.  Set aside a time in a special place where you are not likely to be disturbed.  At this time, in order to be your best it’s important to use the HALT formula.  HALT goes as follows:  Don’t be too:

Hungry

Angry

Lonely

Tired

photo by: adobemac

That’s it.  It only takes intention and following these simple guidelines.  It’s highly unlikely that you’ll be able to change the way you look at something if these four things are not taken care of.

As you go along throughout any day just remember it’s a good idea to keep HALT in check at all times.  If you allow yourself to violate this simple formula then a disaster is waiting to happen.  Keeping HALT in check simply ensures you are at our best.  Violating HALT could make a silly little insignificant event turn into a real monster. 

So how do you get HALT back in check if it’s not in place? 

Well, if you are:

Hungry - That’s a pretty easy one.  Eat something.  (Preferalby something nutritional, Dr. Nicole would say.)

Angry - Use some techniques from the last post on how to stop negative thinking mixed with some time, a forward focus and seeing things in perspective.

Lonely - This is probably the most dificult one to take care of, but it is possible to do.  One important thing to remember is that with a relationship with God you are never alone.  Draw near to Him.  You can also go see a friend(s), call someone on the phone or connect with some internet buddies.  Contact an old friend you haven’t talked to in a long time.

Tired - Get some good sleep or take a nap.

That’s it.  Keep HALT in check so that you are at your best, prevent things from blowing out of proportion and are able to process an event you don’t like.

Just like in last week’s post, this requires some awareness.  It requires you to listen to yourself or to be in tune to your self and your needs.  I think you’ll agree the inner peace you find is worth the effort!

To learn more you may want to take a look at my friend Ron’s book:  Removing Emotional Pain.

Can you think of a time when HALT was not in place and a disaster happened?