Principles for Peace

“Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts.”

-Daniel Patrick Moynihan

Are you thinking more positive and accurate?  Hasn’t this been an amazing series!  I have learned so much from you my readers in this discussion.  You  have helped me to better train my mind in the areas of accurate and positive thinking.  Thank you!  Just a few more thinking errors to discuss.  Don’t forget that as we learn these errors it’s crucial to replace them with accurate thinking when you catch them.  Your attempts at first my be a little weak, but with practice you will become a pro at accurate thinking.

In reality, a positive attitude is one of the foundations for accurate thinking.  However, working to eliminate thinking errors and replacing them with accurate thinking certainly helps you to think positive.  They both go hand in hand.

If you feel something does that make it true? Read More »

“Oh that I had the wings of a dove I would fly away and be at rest.”  - Psalms 55:6

Last weekend I attended the funeral of my husband’s grandma.  It was a sad occasion, but also a happy occasion as we released her on into her heavenly home.  She was a beautiful Christian lady with a very positive attitude.  She was ALWAYS happy and encouraged  others to be as well.  She signed all cards that she sent everyone with “Be happy” at the end.  She knew that happiness was a Read More »

“All the days of the afflicted are evil.  But he who is of a merry heart has a continual feast.”        - Proverbs 15:15

I’m pitiful.

There’s just no hope.

Nobody loves me.

I’ll never amount to anything.

I’m just stuck in this pitiful ole’ life of mine.

Nothing will ever change.

Well, I guess that’s just the way things are going to be for me.

That’s the way the cookie crumbles.

That figures.  That’s just my Read More »

Choices, thoughts, realities, destinies……

It has long been accepted that Napoleon Hill is the expert in personal development.  I came across this video by Napoleon Hill himself.  It is so profound that I wanted to share it with you.  You might come to the conclusion that I’m saying that money is necessary for inner peace.  If you watch the whole video I think you will discover something different.  This video makes a great follow-up to my post on realities. Read More »

“A man who does not think for himself does not think at all” - Oscar Wilde

Do you ever just stop to think?

I have a confession to make.  I have a bad habit. It’s called thinking. Well okay, it’s not really a bad habit, but I sure do a lot of it these days. I used to just take everything as I “knew” it to be.  Now, I’m constantly thinking - thinking about how to improve my life, improve my thinking.  Everything I do originates with my thoughts so improvement must start there.

Last week after writing my last post on the realities we create for ourselves and after attending the last lesson of another SFT seminar simply to hone my skills, I went into deep thought and decided to conduct an experiment.  I began to think about how we all view the world from our own set of rose colored glasses.  This can be good, bad or neutral.  Every time we see something or someone, every time an event happens Read More »

This week we will continue our series on thinking errors.  If you haven’t yet read the post on labeling and jumping to conclusions then I encourage you to begin there.  I thought it would be best to keep these thinking errors to two to three errors per post so that they would have the greatest impact.  Learning about them is one thing, but knowing them intimately and mastering accurate thinking is the only way this information will make a difference in your life.

So let’s take a look at the next thinking errors:

3. Filtering out the positive in order to point out the negative

With this error people have a “filter” in their mind that only catches the negative.  The positive slides right Read More »

The kick off of our thinking error series will be postponed for a few more days.  I wanted everyone to have the opportunity to check out my guest post, 4 Invaluable Aspects of Positive Thinking,  on the Positive Thinking Day site.  Positive Thinking Day is fast approaching!  If you are unaware of what Positive Thinking Day is Read More »

I think it is pretty safe to say that peace of mind is only possible if we learn to stop rumination or negative thinking.  In a recent post by Dr. Nicole Sundene of Kitchen Table Medicine, Dr. Nicole discussed whether or not we can always think positive.  I think it is safe to say that we can train our minds to always have a positive attitude, but let’s face it we are all humans and negative thoughts can creep up.  Today’s post will focus on what to do when negative thoughts do come to mind.

In SFT Awareness, we teach students how to process and remove emotional pain which prevents and eliminates most depression.  It’s similar to Tim Brownson’s teaching of reframing.  There’s something very valuable that we teach students in SFT that prevents them from completing a behaviour cycle that leads to depression and addictions.  It’s called stopping rumination.  What is rumination you ask?  Rumination was a word that I had actually never heard of before learning SFT. 

Rumination is basically a fancy word for negative thinking.  Rumination occurs when a pain event happens - anything you don’t like.  When something happens that a person doesn’t like a process starts that is very similar to cows chewing their cud.  The person will draw on past similar negative experiences.  One negative thought leads to another and another and another.  Then the person will go back to the first thought and chew on it some more and then the next thought and chew on it - over and over again the person thinks about all the negatives of something he/she doesn’t like.  As one of my teachers, Gary Washer, puts it, it is like someone losing their keys and then looking for them in the same places over and over again.  Ever done that?  I know I have.

If someone allows rumination to take place, depression is right around the corner.  Notice I used the word “allows.”  This implies that something can be done about it.  So….

How can you stop negative thinking in its tracks?

1.  The first step in stopping negative thinking is to become aware that you are thinking negative. That may sound silly, but once you start to become conscious of it, you’ll be surprised.  Remember that a pain event is anything you don’t like.  So start to become aware or conscious of things you don’t like.  Notice when you first begin feeling angry, frustrated, sad, stressed or any negative feeling.  That’s the first step.  Train yourself to become conscious.

2.  Make a decision not to think about or dwell on the situation or thing UNTIL you are calmed down and in a better frame of mind. (more on that later.) (Click here to see what the ideal conditions are).

3.  Watch your self talk.

*  Some people at this point may say.  “I can’t stop thinking negative.”  Well if you tell yourself that, then guess what?  ….You can’t.  Change your self talk to “I don’t have to think negative.  I don’t like this and that’s okay, but I choose not to let it ruin my life.  I choose to think positive.  I can stop rumination.  I choose to have peace of mind” This is very liberating!

*  Remind yourself: “What I think on expands.” If you choose to think on the problem the problem will get bigger.  If you tell yourself at this point that “good and opportunities will come from this” your subconscious will begin trying to figure out how good can come from it even though you are not consciously thinking about it.      At this time I like to remind myself of one of my favorite Bible verses: 

“For God causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to his purpose.” - Romans 8:28

Then move on….

4.  Replace the time you normally spend in negative thinking with something else. In other words, distract the mind.  A hobby is a great thing to get involved in - especially one that involves the mind.  If you have a hobby you enjoy then participate in that hobby at this time.  If you don’t have a hobby, then find one.  Do a Google search for hobbies if you need to do so.  Be creative.

5.  Draw near to God. Prayer and Bible study will help to turn your focus off of yourself and onto God instead.  I like to remind myself that life is about God, not me.   One thing that helps me stop ruminating more than anything else are these two CD’s:  Glorious God a Cappella Worship and Awesome God: An a Cappella Worship Series. It put’s my life in perspective fast!  (I love these CD’s!).

6.  Think on good things. Think about all the blessings you have and dwell on them.  The best way I have found to do this is to make a list of my blessings at a time when I’m not already upset and then keep it with me.  If a pain event occurs I can pull out my list and read it over and over again.  It sure beats thinking negative thoughts over and over again.

Now, you’re one step closer to having peace of mind….

Happy peaceful living!

For further help on learning to think positive I recommend the great one minute affirmations at:  Think Positive Blog.

What are some ways that you prevent negative thinking?

Who can explain how this picture relates to this post?

photo by:  tonystl