“There is a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.” - Proverbs 26:12
How are your resolutions going so far? Are you still sticking with them? My husband said that at work on Monday about 25 people gathered around the lunch table (as opposed to the usual five or six) with their healthy lunches and they discussed their different diet strategies. On Tuesday there were the usual five or six at the table. The rest were eating out again. Hopefully, you’ve made it further than that.
To help keep our minds clear and thinking accurately as we go into 2009 there are three more thinking errors that I would like to discuss. We will begin with the first one of this new year today.
Have you ever wondered why you are always right about things and everybody else just doesn’t know what is going on? Have you ever wondered why they don’t understand why you are always right and comply? What is wrong with them? Unfortunately, today’s thinking error is very close to me. It’s called: Read More »
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
- Leo F. Buscaglia
It’s great to be back! Thanks for your patience with me over the last month as I have not been around very much. It has been busy, but it was good. I hope all of you have had a wonderful holiday season so far and that the New Year is absolutely fantastic for you. I wish you all that brings you peace and joy in the year to come.
Change - it’s what we are all thinking about now as the new year arrives. “What New Years’ resolutions will I make this year? What do I want to be different? How do I want to improve my life?” may be some questions you are asking of yourself. I would like to pose one way that we can all improve our lives over the next year.
I think it’s safe to say that we all enjoy a sincere Read More »
“A man who does not think for himself does not think at all” - Oscar Wilde
Do you ever just stop to think?
I have a confession to make. I have a bad habit. It’s called thinking. Well okay, it’s not really a bad habit, but I sure do a lot of it these days. I used to just take everything as I “knew” it to be. Now, I’m constantly thinking - thinking about how to improve my life, improve my thinking. Everything I do originates with my thoughts so improvement must start there.
Last week after writing my last post on the realities we create for ourselves and after attending the last lesson of another SFT seminar simply to hone my skills, I went into deep thought and decided to conduct an experiment. I began to think about how we all view the world from our own set of rose colored glasses. This can be good, bad or neutral. Every time we see something or someone, every time an event happensRead More »
Have you ever been so angry that you just couldn’t think straight? Chances are you have - more than once. I know I have at times. Have you ever been so hungry that you just couldn’t think? And if you did it was either in the form of “I THINK you better get out of my way now!” or in the form of a big juicy steak and baked potato. Peace turns into disaster fast under these circumstances. That’s the way we operate. Certain needs have to be met in order for us to be at our best and to think the clearest.
In my last post I wrote about a very valuable lesson on how to stop rumination. If you haven’t read that post yet, I highly recommend it. In that post, one of the points was about not thinking about a pain event until you are calmed down and are in a better frame of mind. Today we will discuss the conditions favorable for taking a look at a pain event. One of my favorite parts of this lesson is that it’s a great preventative technique also. It’s something I try to use on a daily basis.
This is one of the most simple lessons we teach in SFT Awareness, yet once you see it you’ll probably agree that not only have you violated it many times over, but that you’ve seen others do the same.
When processing a pain event it’s important to create the favorable conditions to process it. Set aside a time in a special place where you are not likely to be disturbed. At this time, in order to be your best it’s important to use the HALTformula. HALT goes as follows: Don’t be too:
That’s it. It only takes intention and following these simple guidelines. It’s highly unlikely that you’ll be able to change the way you look at something if these four things are not taken care of.
As you go along throughout any day just remember it’s a good idea to keep HALT in check at all times. If you allow yourself to violate this simple formula then a disaster is waiting to happen. Keeping HALT in check simply ensures you are at our best. Violating HALT could make a silly little insignificant event turn into a real monster.
So how do you get HALT back in check if it’s not in place?
Well, if you are:
Hungry - That’s a pretty easy one. Eat something. (Preferalby something nutritional, Dr. Nicole would say.)
Lonely - This is probably the most dificult one to take care of, but it is possible to do. One important thing to remember is that with a relationship with God you are never alone. Draw near to Him. You can also go see a friend(s), call someone on the phone or connect with some internet buddies. Contact an old friend you haven’t talked to in a long time.
Tired - Get some good sleep or take a nap.
That’s it. Keep HALT in check so that you are at your best, prevent things from blowing out of proportion and are able to process an event you don’t like.
Just like in last week’s post, this requires some awareness. It requires you to listen to yourself or to be in tune to your self and your needs. I think you’ll agree the inner peace you find is worth the effort!
Have you ever wanted something so bad you just couldn’t stand it? Have you ever wondered why you just can’t achieve something or move forward? You want something or you set goals, but no matter how hard you try you just can’t get there? You’re not alone? There have been many times in my lifetime when I set goals and I could never seem to reach them. One goal after another and nothing, nothing. Very frustrating to say the least.
I have been thinking about a question related to this now for several weeks. It has pervaded my mind and I keep thinking about it. So I posed the question to my husband a week or so ago. Do you have to figure out what is holding you back from acheiving something in order to acheive it or can you simply make a goal and be so focused that you acheive it? My husband thought for a moment and then said, “I don’t know.” Later he said to me “Honey, I think you’re becoming a philosopher with some of the questions you ask me.” :) I certainly never thought of myself as a philosopher, but I do enjoy thinking and figuring things out now - something I never took the time to do earlier in my life.
My conclusion, from years of expereience, is that yes, you have to recognize and figure out what is holding you back from accomplishing something and work to process and remove that thing so that you can move forward. Everyone may not agree with me here, and I’d love to hear what you have to say if you don’t.
Do you want inner peace and happiness? Do you want success? Do you want to be the best at something important to you? Do you want to leave a legacy? What is stopping you? That is what I want us to discover.
* Look deep and ask the quesion, “Why?” Now there are two ways to ask the question, “Why?” One way says, “Why me?” or “Why is this happning to me? (or why did this happen to me?)” In other words, “poor pitiful me.” The other way to ask “why?” is to ask it in order to find the answers to what is holding you back and what you can learn from it. This could be in the form of “Why am I not reaching my goals? What is holding me back? How can I learn from it and change it so that peace can prevail or so that I can move forward to reach my goals?
* Realize that when you ask the question “Why?” that it is probably something deep burried in your subconscious mind. This is not always the case, but often it it. Nonetheless, it is something you are doing or not doing that is holding you back. It is your weaknesses that you are not aware of. Keep looking deeper and deeper and asking “why?” over and over again until you figure out the answer. In Jeffrey Liker’s book, The Toyota Way, he tells of how the Japanese in the Toyota company ask the question, “Why?” five times in order to find the source of a problem so they can improve upon it. What you will likely discover when you do this is that…
* Beliefs are usually the things that are holding you back. When you find these beliefs the next questions to ask are “Why?” (yes, again!) Why do I hold these beliefs? Where did they come from? Are these beliefs real or accuarate? Now that I see these beliefs what can I learn from them? How can I change my thinking in order to change my beliefs, in order to accomplish what I want? How can I use this information to help me have peace of mind and/or success at something?
* Understanding how beliefs work can go a long way. Beliefs form habits, habits that we are often not even aware of and these habits dictate your actions and your entire life without you even realizing it is happening. You see, no amount of positive talk can get you where you want to be if you have negative beliefs burried deep within you telling you the complete opposite. Uncover and remove the negative so that you can believe the positive. Once you believe it you can acheive it as Napolean Hill says in his time tested best seller book, Think and Grow Rich. If the voice burried deep within you says, “You’re no good. You’ll never accomplish anything. It’s not really possible for you to have peace” then it is right. You will not until you first recognize that voice, figure out where it came from and then replace it with an accurate thought and belief.
One of the reasons I like Dr. Nicole so much is because she uses the “why? approach to physical problems. She digs deep asking why, why, why til she gets to the root of the problem, exposes it and there finds the solution. She figures out what is holding people back from good health. This is evident in her post about McInflamation and Tell Me What’s in Your Shopping Cart and I’ll Tell You What Is Wrong with You.
* Often the beliefs burried deep within you that are holding you back are fears.Benny Greenberg is doing an excellent series on this topic of fear now which helps to reveal those fears that you may have hidden deep within you. Recognizing these fears and learning to replace them can go a long way towards helping you have the life that you want - that peace of mind we all want.
In the next few posts we will discuss some tips and some more things that hold us back along with the things that we can do to overcome them.
In the meantime, this is open for discussion. I would love to hear what you have to say about all of this. What are some things that you have figured out that has held you back?
Have you ever said to someone (or wanted to, but didn’t)… “Will you please just listen to me.” How many times have you been trying to tell someone something and they were just not listening? How many times have you felt like you might as well be talking to a brick wall. Do you feel that sense of frustration rise up your spine as you think about it? Have you been Read More »
, he tells of how the Japanese in the Toyota company ask the question, “Why?” five times in order to find the source of a problem so they can improve upon it. What you will likely discover when you do this is that…
If the voice burried deep within you says, “You’re no good. You’ll never accomplish anything. It’s not really possible for you to have peace” then it is right. You will not until you first recognize that voice, figure out where it came from and then replace it with an accurate thought and belief.
