Principles for Peace

photo by:  Material Boy

Over two years ago I read this story and it is something that I have remembered to this day.  Whether it is true or not, I have no way of knowing, but it certainly could be true.  It’s message is extremely powerful so I wanted to share it with you.

Bank Account

A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o’clock, with his hair fashionably coiffed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.

As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, Read More »

photo by: KOMUnews

I intended to write a blog post yesterday, but now I’m just thankful to be alive!  Instead of writing a blog post I was hunkered down in my closet praying and avoiding tornadoes that were literally all around me.  MUCH damage was done, a couple of lives lost, many injured and many many homes destroyed.  So now I’m just thankful for each breath, spending time with my wonderful husband and praying for the victims.  It is very interesting how everything can get put into perspective really fast.  God has been very gracious to me and I feel sure He will bless me with some opportunities to help the victims.

Many people will not have a great holiday weekend.  I hope each of you do have a happy holiday, count your blessings and give those who are special to you an extra hug.

More storms are projected for Monday…..

“It is more blessed to give than to receive.” ~ Acts 20:35

photo by:  Saquan Stimpson/monstershaq 2000

Sometimes we come across extra special people in our lives.  Sometimes we come across those people who offer us gifts of  hope and healing, joy and peace, unconditional love, acceptance and respect.  The world would not be the same without them.  OUR world, OUR life, would not be the same without them.  It was no accident that God put these people into our lives.  What is the best way to say thank you to these people and to God?

What happens when we keep these gifts to ourselves?

Something interesting happens after a time when we keep these gifts…..  We actually become weighed down.  The gifts become heavy on our shoulders.

If we were to ask any of the people who have given us these gifts what they wanted us to do with them, I am most certain they would all unanimously say to Read More »

Many people mistakenly fall prey to thinking error #14 in our series - or the lie of:

15. Heaven’s Reward Fallacy - bad things don’t happen to good people

“Finally!” I thought, when I saw this thinking error on the list, “This is one that I do not participate in.  Whew!!!”

And then I did some research before writing this post and it just so happens that some people define Heaven’s Reward Fallacy as something a little different than what I learned.  I was forced to examine my thoughts a little further.  We will take a look at both definitions, as each are lies that people fall prey to. Read More »

Last week I found myself in the complaining mode.  I admit it.  I’m going to be EXTREMELY busy over the next  five weeks. I’m either having company or traveling (or both!) each weekend over these next five weeks.  And one week in there my whole week is likely to be wiped out with activities.  And you know the stress the holidays can bring anyway…  Well, finally the song, “God is so Good” came to my mind and instantly my perspective starting changing.  I realized how blessed I truly am!!  Just today I thought to myself, “I’ve been complaining about all this traveling and company.  You know I should just be thankful that I have family to go visit and to visit me.  Not everyone is so blessed.  And I have an opportunity to get out of the norm for a bit and to see things from a different perspective.  But, that’s not what this post is about……

photo by: hammer 51012

I’ve been excited about this post for quite some time now.  I knew what I wanted to do for my Thanksgiving (the next US holiday) post several weeks ago.  You see, I have been blogging for almost a year now (here in just a couple of weeks) and I have been so blessed by it.  I have made some INCREDIBLE friends and had some great opportunities as I have been blogging.  I have been thinking about how incredible you are and how incredibly blessed I am by you, my blogging friends, readers, and commenters.  Without you it would all be pointless.  I want to take this special time to say: Read More »

“Greatness is not found in possessions, power, position, or prestige. It is discovered in goodness, humility, service, and character.”  - William Arthur Ward

It’s no secret.  We live in a me, me, me world.  We want everything our own way and we want it now.  “It’s my way or the highway,” some say.  Some people see absolutely nothing wrong with this philosophy.  In fact, there are probably some people reading this right now that fall into that group.  You may be saying, “I have to have that philosophy or I’ll get run over in this rat race of a world.”  If that is your philosophy let me ask one question - ok, maybe three - “Do you enjoy being around other people with this attitude?  Have you ever had or seen a good boss that possessed this attitude?  Have you ever been around a person in authority with this philosophy that was effective?”  Chances are you have not.

So, why would you want to be humble in this “me” world?

In SFT, I learned early on in my lessons that humility was necessary in order to process and remove emotional pain.  I was told and I have learned by experience that if humility is not in place then it is impossible to remove the pain of an event or situation.  It’s totally useless to every try.  We also call humility the “me factor” in SFT.  I was trained to ask myself, “How’s my ’me factor on a scale of 1-10?’” before even attempting to process pain.  If humility is not there the pain will remain.  I knew first hand that this was going to be one of the most difficult lessons for me to master.  I was right and selfishness is very easy for me to slip back into if I’m not watching.  As a matter of fact, recently I have noticed myself letting the old selfish bug creep in.  It’s no wonder I’ve been struggling in some other areas as well.  But, pain processing is not the only benefit of humility.

As I was thinking about this post and planning out what to say it all the sudden hit me.  There are so many ironies associated with humility.  What I want to discover today is:

The Misconceptions vs. the Reality of Humility:

Myth 1:  Humility means letting people run all over you.  It means you are no good.

Reality:  Humility requires confidence - confidence in self and in God - to the extent that you don’t need to have everything your way.

Myth 2:  Humility means you are weak.

Reality:  Humility is strength under control.

Myth 3:  Humility is for stupid people.

Reality:  Humility requires wisdom - wisdom to see what the outcome will be if you always demand to have things your way.  (pss.-  No one will want to be around you plus you will be miserable.)

Myth 4:  Having humility means everyone will look down on you. 

Reality:  People will respect you if you consider their needs and wants and let them have their way sometimes.  (Four of the men that I have respected the most in my life were the most humble men I have ever known.)

Myth 5:  Having humility means that you don’t deserve anything and will never have anything.

Reality:  At the root of humility is gratitude.  Gratitude recognizes all the blessing you have even though you don’t deserve them.  True gratitude will lead to more blessings than you could ever imagine.

Myth 6:  You’ll always be a low man on the totem pole if you’re humble.  You have to lift yourself up or nobody else will.

Reality:  The results of humility are that you will be lifted up. 

“Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord and He will exalt you.”                    - James 4:10

Myth 7:  You can’t be humble if you are a leader.

Reality:  You will never be a leader if you are not humble (even though you may be in a leadership position).

Myth 8:  I will never get what I want if I’m humble.  Reality:

“The only way to get what you want is to help other people get what they want.”    - Zig Ziglar

Myth 9:  If you are humble you can’t have your way about everything.

Reality:  This one is actually true.  The only downside is that if you demand that the world revolve around you then you will be miserable and disappointed at best.

“What makes humility so desirable is the marvelous thing it does to us; it creates in us a capacity for the closest possible intimacy with God.”  - Monica Baldwin

 If humility is such a good thing then, “How do I get it?” 

* One thing that has helped me the most along this continual journey is to focus on my blessings.  At one point I wrote down all the blessings I could think of and I reviewed the list daily.  This really got me to see how truly blessed I am even though I don’t deserve the blessings (that is not a “poor pitiful me” mentality).

* Checking your motives is another good way to work on humility.  Is it all about you?  How pure are your motives - honestly?

* Increase your self esteem.  There’s a number of ways to do this.  Work on yourself.  In other words, focus on growth.  Set specific goals for things you can work on.  Read the Bible and other helpful books to gain ideas. 

* Draw near to God.

* Do something constructive and worthwhile.  Be creative and get to work.

* Practice noticing the interests and needs of others and act accordingly.

In other news:

* If you want to learn more about SFT Awareness I encourage you to read my recent post at Jenny Mannion’s blog.

* The P4P Bookstore is finally open!  Come on in a relax.  Browse around to find some books for your personal growth. 

I think it is pretty safe to say that peace of mind is only possible if we learn to stop rumination or negative thinking.  In a recent post by Dr. Nicole Sundene of Kitchen Table Medicine, Dr. Nicole discussed whether or not we can always think positive.  I think it is safe to say that we can train our minds to always have a positive attitude, but let’s face it we are all humans and negative thoughts can creep up.  Today’s post will focus on what to do when negative thoughts do come to mind.

In SFT Awareness, we teach students how to process and remove emotional pain which prevents and eliminates most depression.  It’s similar to Tim Brownson’s teaching of reframing.  There’s something very valuable that we teach students in SFT that prevents them from completing a behaviour cycle that leads to depression and addictions.  It’s called stopping rumination.  What is rumination you ask?  Rumination was a word that I had actually never heard of before learning SFT. 

Rumination is basically a fancy word for negative thinking.  Rumination occurs when a pain event happens - anything you don’t like.  When something happens that a person doesn’t like a process starts that is very similar to cows chewing their cud.  The person will draw on past similar negative experiences.  One negative thought leads to another and another and another.  Then the person will go back to the first thought and chew on it some more and then the next thought and chew on it - over and over again the person thinks about all the negatives of something he/she doesn’t like.  As one of my teachers, Gary Washer, puts it, it is like someone losing their keys and then looking for them in the same places over and over again.  Ever done that?  I know I have.

If someone allows rumination to take place, depression is right around the corner.  Notice I used the word “allows.”  This implies that something can be done about it.  So….

How can you stop negative thinking in its tracks?

1.  The first step in stopping negative thinking is to become aware that you are thinking negative. That may sound silly, but once you start to become conscious of it, you’ll be surprised.  Remember that a pain event is anything you don’t like.  So start to become aware or conscious of things you don’t like.  Notice when you first begin feeling angry, frustrated, sad, stressed or any negative feeling.  That’s the first step.  Train yourself to become conscious.

2.  Make a decision not to think about or dwell on the situation or thing UNTIL you are calmed down and in a better frame of mind. (more on that later.) (Click here to see what the ideal conditions are).

3.  Watch your self talk.

*  Some people at this point may say.  “I can’t stop thinking negative.”  Well if you tell yourself that, then guess what?  ….You can’t.  Change your self talk to “I don’t have to think negative.  I don’t like this and that’s okay, but I choose not to let it ruin my life.  I choose to think positive.  I can stop rumination.  I choose to have peace of mind” This is very liberating!

*  Remind yourself: “What I think on expands.” If you choose to think on the problem the problem will get bigger.  If you tell yourself at this point that “good and opportunities will come from this” your subconscious will begin trying to figure out how good can come from it even though you are not consciously thinking about it.      At this time I like to remind myself of one of my favorite Bible verses: 

“For God causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to his purpose.” - Romans 8:28

Then move on….

4.  Replace the time you normally spend in negative thinking with something else. In other words, distract the mind.  A hobby is a great thing to get involved in - especially one that involves the mind.  If you have a hobby you enjoy then participate in that hobby at this time.  If you don’t have a hobby, then find one.  Do a Google search for hobbies if you need to do so.  Be creative.

5.  Draw near to God. Prayer and Bible study will help to turn your focus off of yourself and onto God instead.  I like to remind myself that life is about God, not me.   One thing that helps me stop ruminating more than anything else are these two CD’s:  Glorious God a Cappella Worship and Awesome God: An a Cappella Worship Series. It put’s my life in perspective fast!  (I love these CD’s!).

6.  Think on good things. Think about all the blessings you have and dwell on them.  The best way I have found to do this is to make a list of my blessings at a time when I’m not already upset and then keep it with me.  If a pain event occurs I can pull out my list and read it over and over again.  It sure beats thinking negative thoughts over and over again.

Now, you’re one step closer to having peace of mind….

Happy peaceful living!

For further help on learning to think positive I recommend the great one minute affirmations at:  Think Positive Blog.

What are some ways that you prevent negative thinking?

Who can explain how this picture relates to this post?

photo by:  tonystl

Happy Fourth of July to all of my U.S. readers - and everyone else also!  (Yes, I know it’s a couple of days early.)

I would like to introduce you to Arthur, someone I know personally.  Arthur has a beautiful wife and three teenage children.  Arthur just left last week for training so that he can soon be shipped overseas to protect and insure our freedoms.  He is giving up everyone and everything he loves so that you and I personally can embrace freedom.  You see that’s just it.  Until we personally embrace this freedom can we really pay tribute to our troops????  Think about it for a minute. 

U.S. troops die every day for you and me - to preserve the freedoms upon which this country was founded.  Do you take that lightly?  I know I have taken them for granted.  I hear on the news “10 troops died today, 32 troops died today in battle on the….. ” Soon, a person  becomes hardened to words.

I was thinking this afternoon…. these troops die every day for your freedom, for my freedom - for the peace we enjoy.  The question is “What are you doing to embrace this freedom and make yourself, this country and world a better place?”  You see, we watch them die, all to let the battle in our own minds continue and take over our lives and not even embrace the freedom that is right in front of us.  Until we choose to win this battle we will never appreciate what our troops are doing for us. 

Photo by:  Jeff Kubina

10 ways that you forfeit your freedom:

1.  Holding on to past failures.

2.  Self limiting beliefs - “I can’t.”  I’m not good enough.” 

3.  Trying to change everyone around you to fit your mold.

4.  Trying to fit the mold of all those around you and fulfill the expectations that others have for you.

5.  Bad attitudes and filling your mind with negative thoughts.

6.  Victimizing yourself because of your circumstances.

7.  Seeking revenge.

8.  Beating yourself up.

9.  Quarreling and fighting.

10.  Do nothing.

Men and women are dying every day so that:

1.  You can learn from past mistakes and look forward to better things.

2.  “YOU can!”

3.  You can make YOURSELF better.

4.  You can set yourself apart

5.  You can have so many blessings.

6.  You can let go of everything that holds you back.

7.  You can CHOOSE to forgive and love anyway.

8.  You can think of all the reasons “you can” and DO it.

9.  You can unite with others to do great things.

10. You can make yourself, this country and world a better place.

The troops are working to clear out any outside circumstances that might hold you back from your dreams and the peace that can be yours.  It’s up to you to clear away the mental blocks so that you can help make this country and world a better place.  Until you let go of all that is holding you back from peace and personal success you will never fully appreciate what your troops are doing for you and reach forward to great things.  Will you rise to the challenge our troops have set for YOU?   The freedoms are yours.  Will YOU embrace them?

What are some other ways that you see people forfeit their freedom?

In what ways can you better embrace your freedom?