Making a Difference - Little by Little
Peace, encouragement, happiness, opportunities April 3rd, 2009
photo by: Todd Young
“Leave everyone better than you found them.”
Well, it has now been a week since I sent out the challenge - since I challenged myself and challenged you - to leave every place, every person better than we found them.
I don’t know about you, but this has been fun. I want to tell you of my results and then hear of yours. I can’t wait to hear yours!
I have to start out being honest. There were times I forgot, but it was something that I really tried to keep at the forefront of my mind and do actively and it DID make a difference.
The responses I got varied - seemed to vary much more than I thought they would.
Every place:
One thing I did was picked up trash in the neighborhood each time I went out for a walk with my dog. Ocassionally, I forgot or didn’t really see any, but many times I did. Sometimes I would just pick up one thing, and sometimes I would have my hand full. I even picked up a couple of nails (spikes) lying in the road. That could have kept someone from being stranded. It felt really good to be a part of the solution and not the problem!
There is a big field behind our house. A few people have unfortunately thought it was a convenient place to throw out their trash - either in the form of trash bags full of trash or just their fast food trash from lunch. However, much of what is out there is blown in by the wind. Whatever the source of the trash, it just felt good to help clean this place up a little bit at the time. (There’s more to pick up, but it’s a start.)
Every Person:
Strangers:
I often try to do this anyway, but I made an even bigger effort to smile at strangers. This one was really interesting. Maybe it was something about how I was doing it… I think I got a few smiles in return, but often people just would not look or looked in the other direction. I smiled at the cashier at Target, but she never smiled back, no matter how much I smiled. She looked at me in a way that seemed to say, “Why are you smiling at me?” Obviously, I don’t really know what she was thinking, but she did seem perplexed at why I would smile at HER. Maybe she’s just not used to people treating her nice, I don’t know what was going on, but maybe, just maybe my smile was able to break through in some way. I’ll keep smiling. I know it makes a difference.
People I know - In person:
I found myself looking for opportunities… “How can I brighten their day?” Sometimes it was difficult coming up with something to say, but I always tried to do so with some kind of sincere compliment - it had to be real. (Well, sometimes I forgot, but I really tried to remember.) This was really fun. I got lots of smiles in return.
Sometimes, what I did was just listen to people - Sometimes I just took the time to listen and get to know them better - to say “You’re important to me.” - just by taking the time, just by listening. I just wanted people to feel good about who they were. I know I sure felt good by offering myself to them in this way and I believe they did too.
Once, I helped someone load some boxes in their car. That felt really good. But, first I took the time to talk to this person, to listen to them and to sincerely compliment them. This was the most amazing result from this challenge so far to me. This led to something extremely wonderful - it led to an amazing conversation about something we are both passionate about and a very likely partnership. We figured out we had very similar goals and we have plans to discuss things further. It may have never happened if I had not decided to leave her better than I found her!!
Email:
This one was a lot of fun! Again, sometimes I forgot….. After I sent the email, I would think, “Wait, I forgot….” But I’m becoming even more conscious - and that’s moving in a good direction. But when I remembered….
It was just a blast! I would think until I came up with what I believed would really uplift the person - it always had to be sincere. I could tell that I really touched people. I got the most wonderful responses back from this even though I was seeking none. They were so thankful and then proceeded to give me sincere compliments in return. I received more than double back - it not only felt good to give the compliments to begin with, but then I got some in return. This was just fantastic!
Overall:
I am having so much fun with all of this! I certainly see no reason at all to stop. But, I see every reason to step it up and carry it further. It’s definitely going to be something that I do for the rest of my life. It made me feel so good to make others feel good. And it made me feel good to help clean up God’s beautiful creation.
I LOVE how This challenge made me opportunity conscious, but even greater than that I started to just really WANT TO find someone to uplift. It was almost like an addiction - in a really good way of course. I would think, “Who can I make feel good about themselves?” I started thinking, “Who can I email or send some kind of message to and what can I say to make them feel good?” In other words, it wasn’t just about AS I go along, but I wanted to CREATE the opportunity.
Your turn:
Please tell your results of the “Make a Difference” challenge.
Will you continue this challenge with me?
Will you step it up a notch?
Hi Jennifer,
Wow, what a great week you’ve had - and it’s great because it wasn’t only you that had a great week - it was all the people you impacted in some way. The thought I keep coming back to - is how this can spread. Who knows? Who knows what the person at Target did after they left work? Maybe it settled in, they felt good, and passed it on to someone else. I really see this possibility as the real power in your idea of making a difference.
Are people skeptical? Maybe. Maybe they’re just not used to kindness in their lives. Or at least not regularly. And the best thing we can do is keep giving it out - because you never know when it might finally make that one person feel appreciated.
You did some great things this week Jennifer, in so many different ways! You are an inspiration to me. Your goodness just shines off of these pages - and that’s not just today, but always.
Me? I’ll start by saying I messed up. Without getting into details, I became upset once this week - with someone who didn’t deserve it at all. I’m past that now, and maybe the good out of this is that because of your post last week - I’m recognizing where I failed - as opposed to just moving on. So, that’s the bad…
The good. Without getting into detail, I’ve connected at a much deeper level with someone whom I care about very much - and someone who hasn’t had a necessarily easy life. It took a bunch of time - but it was so worth it. Like you, Jennifer, I’ve used email in very positive ways - including one I just sent out before this, where I know the recipient will love it. And it will also be unexpected. And I feel so good about sending that. At work, I spent some time really getting out and about - to see some of the people I don’t normally see. And I spent time and genuinely listened to all the people I came across. Some days seem so busy, that I rush to break free from a conversation - or avoid certain people altogether. This week, I really concentrated on doing the opposite. Did it take more time? Sure. Was it worth it? Completely. In one particular instance I sat with an older gentleman and listened to him share a story he’d told me before. And I just let him tell me. Even though I knew it. Because I could tell, he didn’t remember, and this was something that mattered to him.
With strangers: I stopped at the grocery store. And in this case - I’m giving it to the clerk checking me out - she exuded goodness. I did smile and say hi. And she took it from there - we had a great conversation about chocolate (I was buying some…my vice…) of which she initiated - and by the time we finished - I felt way good about buying that chocolate, and more importantly - about how she made me feel. And I heard her with the next person - doing the same thing. Isn’t that a great employee to have? It makes me want to shop there again! With my family - I spent more time focusing on them. Playing games. Working together. Going for walks with my wife. All good stuff!
So, I do feel great when I’m “doing good”! Jennifer, you have been an amazing friend and supporter, for some time. You have a way of seeing and doing so much good - and that’s a reflection of your character and real love you have for others. I am honored to be here today - every time I visit - it’s like a part of me gets just a little bit better.
Lances last blog post..Money Does Grow On Trees
It’s great to take the time to validate someone. We often forget to show appreciation especially to the ones we have to interact the most. A simple gesture is actually all it takes to bring on a smile in the other party. It can also create a ripple effect in the spreading of goodness and love.
Thanks for the lovely message in this post! Your challenge is certainly inspiring! I hope to be able to step up to it, at the very least.
Evelyn Lims last blog post..20 Funny Money Quotes
Awesome to read about your week doing this Jennifer! I stepped to this challenge about a year ago in a series at my church, called, “Do Something Beautiful”. It was all along the same lines of doing something to make this wonderful word of God’s more beautiful by taking simple daily actions.
I’ve been able to make several of those actions regular habits not and still occurring a year later now. (anger response suppressed, smiling at first 3 people I see each day, picking up garbage and giving or offering something to others without expectation) Of course like anyone would, I’ve missed some opportunities for this but I can say, it’s a regular occurrence now and I will only continue to improve those actions and do them more.
Your feelings you’ve described I can certainly understand and its great that you’ve put that challenge out there for others as well. I know it works, am thrilled to read about it and so happy to have shared a similar experience and feelings from these simple actions.
Take care,
Mike
Mike Kings last blog post..Cell Phone Etiquette – It’s Your Voice
I love how Mike puts it “Do something beautiful.” That is a great line.
Last week, I listened when I didn’t feel like it. My friend was rude last week and instead of taking it personally let it go. I gave someone some groceries. I went the extra mile attending to my spouse. I called my mom and had a great talk. I refused to join in 3 different negative conversations. I sent out some thank you cards. I allowed more cars to get in line in front of me in traffic. I said hello to every person I passed while running. Thats what I remember! You’re right its a great addiction.
Tess The Bold Lifes last blog post..Magic Mondays = 1/7 of Your Life
nice post. But I liked the header photo very much. Beautiful place.
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Lance, you are so right about how much this can spread. When we make people feel good about themselves there’s no telling what can happen. We could end up inspiring people to do something on a very great scale that could effect others. Maybe, just maybe I was able to impact this person at Target.
Thank you for your encouraging words as always Lance. Always uplifting, always…
I suppose we’re all allowed one time to mess up in our lives. I guess you’ve used yours.
Oops, no more. Oh wait, my number is astronomical. I guess that means that we’re both just human.
I loved reading about all the ways that you put this into practice Lance. And I loved hearing about what it did for you. Taking the time, Mmking the effort, connecting with people, email, listening genuinely even if you’ve heard a story before, etc. I find it interesting the comment you made about how you usually rush about, but this time you took the time. It’s funny how that time is there all along. It’s just a matter of how we spend it. Lance, you ARE making a difference. Just look at the lives you’ve touched - so many Lance. I know you’re enjoying this so much and so is everyone that you are touching.
Wow, this story with the cashier…. Makes me want to shop there! Especially if she makes me feel good about buying chocolate.
I bet she has a long line of people who choose her register each time! I sure hope her manager appreciates her.
Spending time with the family… That’s where the real joy is! I know that you and each of your family members were blessed many times over by this. That is so wonderful Lance. It’s a reminder to me to concentrate more on this. Thank you.
Wow, Lance I’m so humbled by your kind words… so humbled… Thank you so much!
Evelyn, you’ve always been such a faithful supporter here. Thank you so much. I don’t think I’ve ever said how much I appreciate you for that, but I always have. Thank you Evelyn, Thank you. You have made a difference in my life by your presence here many times over.
Taking the time to validate truly does go a long way! Who knows, maybe we are the only one who ever validates them. What if our validation is so powerful that it changes their life in some drastic way…
I love your point about how we forget to show appreciation to the ones we have the most interaction with. Now that really makes me think… It’s easy to take these people for granted, but these are the people we need to be appreciating the most. More growing for me to do in this area…. It is amazing how a simple smile truly can do so much in so many far reaching ways as you have mentioned.
I know you will enjoy stepping up to the challenge and I know those you touch will be so blessed. You have so much goodness to offer, Evelyn.
What a fantastic challenge the church you are a part of issued! That is so wonderful that you stepped up and have impacted so many lives for God as well as your own. We truly can make God’s world a more beautiful place with each intentional action. We can shed His light so brightly with just a little effort. Mike, I’ve been able to tell for a long time that you live this out and I have always been able to tell it’s real with you too. Thank you for your great example you set forth. You truly do make a big difference in this world.
I loved reading about how you have implemented this. They are just wonderful. It gives me ideas of things I can do. We all miss opportunities, but the point is we are getting out there and making a difference. I have no doubt that you will step it up, Mike.
Tess, I love that too - “Do Something Beautiful.” The way that is worded just makes me want to do it.
I was really looking forward to your response to this. I’m so glad you chimed in to tell about it. I’m amazed you even had time as busy as you are making the world so beautiful. Now, that’s challenging… letting go when your friend was rude. I know that you were so blessed by that and I’m sure she was as well, even if she’s didn’t say anything about it. Gave someone groceries… Ok, now I do need to step it up… You’re such an inspiration to me. Going the extra mile for your spouse… What a great reminder of what’s important. It just keeps getting better. Thank you so much for sharing all these… Tess, thank you for your life and your example - always. You make my blog an extremely beautiful place! I’m very blessed by your presence!
Hi hkki. I’m so glad that you liked the post and the header. You take absolutely beautiful photos! Thank you for stopping by here.
All these examples are great and thank you so much for your comments Jennifer. You continually speak from the heart in your writing and responses, thanks!
I couldn’t help but want to add another example. This isn’t one I do so can’t take credit, but a friend who did it and I saw, just amazed me at the impact. They look for a person who most people don’t think twice about. A waiter, cashier or perhaps a grocery clerk who does one thing noticeable above and beyond. Maybe they smiled or were extra helpful, or perhaps just did a good job! My friend took note and asked to see the manager or supervisor regarding that person. They would then tell the manager about the simple way that person made them feel better or important. They do this often as well.
I just loved seeing that. Anyone can do it, its so simple and brings a wonderful smile to that first person as well as their supervisor. Powerful stuff!
Mike Kings last blog post..The Imaginative Mind: Mental Creativity
Mike, thanks so much for coming back and for your kind words and for this great example! What an absolutely wonderful way to make a difference! Your friend sounds like someone I’d love to meet. Wow, to go to all that effort! Thank you for taking the time to come back to tell this story.
I once heard about a group of friends that went out to eat. With the tip, they left thank you notes for the waiter saying all the good things they noticed about him. When they left, he read the notes and then ran out the door to catch them. He was crying, thanking them profusely and said that was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for him.
Looks like we really can step it up, huh?!
What a great thing to hear how everyone is leaving people better than they found them. As a teacher, that has always been important to me. I have always wanted to leave kids with an excitement for learning and a feeling that they have what it takes to be successful. I may not have always succeeded in achieving this but I know I did some.
My hope is that I can live my life where leaving people and places better than I found them is the norm for me. Maybe one day it will come naturally to me and I won’t consider it this awesome thing but just what I do.
Hi Laurie. I like how you made it specific in your teaching. Not just saying that you will leave them better, but how you will. I have no doubt you have made a positive impact on them.
I hope to also make this second nature to me - to make it such a part of me that I don’t even really have to think about it anymore. You’re an inspiration to me Laurie to accomplish just that!