Many people mistakenly fall prey to thinking error #14 in our series - or the lie of:

15. Heaven’s Reward Fallacy - bad things don’t happen to good people

“Finally!” I thought, when I saw this thinking error on the list, “This is one that I do not participate in.  Whew!!!”

And then I did some research before writing this post and it just so happens that some people define Heaven’s Reward Fallacy as something a little different than what I learned.  I was forced to examine my thoughts a little further.  We will take a look at both definitions, as each are lies that people fall prey to.

First of all, do bad things happen to good people?

Heaven’s Reward Fallacy says no.  The real answer is yes, it is a fact that bad things happen to everyone - good and bad.  No one goes through life without bad things happening to them.  That would be like living in a fairy tale.  It’s just not realistic.

art by: yours truly

Some people completely abandon their faith or belief in God because they mistakenly believe the Heaven’s Reward Fallacy and think that He promised us that bad things would never happen to us.  As a matter of fact, I have a good friend who pretty much turned her back on God and is in a really rocky relationship now due largely to this false belief.  What I have learned from my study is that God did not promise that bad things would not happen to us (as a matter of fact He promised that they would), but rather that he would always be there for us and provide us with the strength to deal with the tough times in life.

In fact, it is in the tough times that we become better and more mature people - IF we allow ourselves to be refined during the trials.  I once heard someone say that God is complimenting us when he allows trials to come our way.  He is saying to us, “I knew you could handle this.”  He is allowing us to grow.  It truly is up to us which perception we choose.

My friend that I mentioned - what she said to me was, “I have tried and tried to do good, but bad things just keep on and keep on happening.  Well, they do to me to.  She thought if she was good enough, then the bad things would just stop.

God being with us…. isn’t about Him taking away our circumstances, it’s about Him helping us deal with the circumstances.

Healthy accurate thinking in regards to this, really has to do with our reasons or motives for doing things.  If we are doing good for any other reason than simply just to do good or out of gratitude then we’re likely setting ourselves up for failure.

Back to my friend….She was setting herself up for failure over and over again by telling herself the lie that if I’m good enough the bad stuff will stop.  Now that I think about it… In this way, I can see how the next definition of Heaven’s Reward Fallacy is really maybe the same as the first (or at least very related.)

Definition # 2 of Heaven’s Reward Fallacy:

- Could be called the martyr’s fallacy.  You believe that if you always do the right thing that you will eventually be rewarded (even if doing the right thing means ignoring your own needs.)

- You expect all your sacrifice and self-denial to pay off, as if there were someone keeping score. You feel bitter when the reward does not come. You work extra hard and sacrifice, and do the right thing, expecting to get a lot of credit later. Often, it doesn’t come, and this upsets you.

(The source for these definitions come from here and here.)

A great example is listed here.

So basically the main difference in this definition as opposed to the first lies in the self sacrificing, door mat mentality and/or in doing something for one specific reward.  The first definition seems to be more broad in it’s scope.

photo by:  madaise

Your turn:

Have you or someone you know participated in this thinking error?  How has it affected you or them?

___________

Determined to reach your goals?  Let us help you.  Join us at Journey to Success where we help each other to succeed.

___________

To learn about the other thinking errors we have discussed follow these links and learn to Change Your Life - One Thought at a Time:  Using names or labels and jumping to conclusions, filtering out the positive and polarized thinking, overgeneralization, mind reading and personalization, maximizing and minimizing,  blaming,  self pity, gloom and doom,  controlling, emotional reasoning, and being right.

This post was helpful. How can I contribute something in return?

By purchasing from the coffee shop or bookstore. (It’s for a good cause.)