“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”

- Leo F. Buscaglia

It’s great to be back!  Thanks for your patience with me over the last month as I have not been around very much.  It has been busy, but it was good.  I hope all of you have had a wonderful holiday season so far and that the New Year is absolutely fantastic for you.  I wish you all that brings you peace and joy in the year to come.

Change -  it’s what we are all thinking about now as the new year arrives.  “What New Years’ resolutions will I make this year?  What do I want to be different?  How do I want to improve my life?”  may be some questions you are asking of yourself.  I would like to pose one way that we can all improve our lives over the next year.

I think it’s safe to say that we all enjoy a sincere compliment.  Some of us enjoy compliments more than others.  If “words of affirmation” is your Love Language (It is mine.) then a real compliment can lift you to great heights.  The inspiration for this post came after writing a guest post about the “You Rule” for Lance at The Jungle of Life.  (If you haven’t read it yet, the readers thought it was life changing.)  In the post, we stated one of the exceptions to using the word “you” is when giving compliments.  After writing this, I realized that there were several ways that we can give compliments to others and so I thought a discussion of them would be a great follow up to the “You Rule” post.

6 Ways to Compliment Others:

1. Directly. This one is pretty self explanatory.  “You look great!”  would be an example of a direct compliment.

2.  By listening to them. Listening requires effort and intention.  It is a skill, which means that it must be learned.  It usually does not come naturally.  As we listen to what people have to say it is often good to acknowledge that we are listening by asking questions or by rephrasing what they have said.  The post I wrote on listening is pretty thorough, so if you would like more information please check out the link.

photo by:  Hamed Masoumi

3.  By getting to know them. When meeting someone new, ask questions to get to know them.  This is a huge compliment that is often overlooked.  They will feel honored and important.  We can also compliment our friends and family by working to get to know them better as well.

4.  By your time. Time is our most valuable commodity.  When we share it with someone else it is a compliment that will not be forgotten, especially if their Love Language is “quality time.”

5.  By “the look.” If you’ve ever seen a young couple in love you probably know what I’m talking about here.  “The look” says, “You are the most important person in the world to me.”  We can all use “the look” even if we don’t have “a special someone” in our lives.  We can give a look to friends and family that says “You are special to me.”  We are always “talking” with our eyes and “body language.”  We might as well make it count for good.

6.  By remembering their name. Repeat someone’s name when you first meet them to make sure you heard it correctly and to help you remember it.  Repeating it several times in the conversation not only makes an impression on the person, but it helps you to remember it as well.

In case you are wondering what the compliment is in most of these suggestions, it is saying to the other person, “You are important to me so I am going to put forth this effort for you.” Often, this type of compliment is more meaningful than a direct compliment.

Your turn:

If you are looking to improve your life during this next year, my challenge to you is to pick at least one of these compliments to incorporate into your resolutions.  Not only will it enhance others’ lives, but your life will be made better as well.  I am going to pick listening and “the look” to work on this year.

What are some other compliments I have left out?