“All the days of the afflicted are evil.  But he who is of a merry heart has a continual feast.”        - Proverbs 15:15

I’m pitiful.

There’s just no hope.

Nobody loves me.

I’ll never amount to anything.

I’m just stuck in this pitiful ole’ life of mine.

Nothing will ever change.

Well, I guess that’s just the way things are going to be for me.

That’s the way the cookie crumbles.

That figures.  That’s just my luck.  Nothing’s ever in my favor.

Have you ever told yourself anything like this?  I have.  And I believed it too.

11.  Poor me thinking:  self pity, gloom and doom is the thinking error/lie that is next in the series on Change Your Life One Thought at a Time.

eeyor achterruit Pictures, Images and Photos

(To check out the other thinking errors you can access all of them in the last post on blaming.)

This could also be referred to as a martyr or victim mentality.  Feeling that you are stuck in a situation is a pretty good sign that you are participating in the poor me thinking error. There are few times that we are actually stuck in a situation (jail is about the only one that comes to mind right now), but even if we are stuck, we can still choose our attitude.  “Stuck” is simply a matter of perspective.

“Poor, pitiful me” is a very easy lie to fall prey too.  It even seems to come more natural with some personalities.  But nonetheless it can be conquered.

My husband and I became the king and queen of self pity for a long time in our marriage.  It was quiet a pity party - our whole life.  Poor me this, poor me that.  We doomed ourselves to this life over and over again throughout the day.  We literally thought we were doomed to live a pitiful humble life all of our lives.  (Not that humility is bad, but when mixed with pitifullness it is.  Excuse the grammar, but it is bad wrong.  As a matter of fact that is not humility.)

picture by:  corsinet

Finally, a book,  “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind,” was recommended to me for some reason and I decided to read it.  While I certainly didn’t agree with all the teachings in this book, it really opened my eyes up to the fact that we were doing this to ourselves and that we would always be poor and pitiful because of what we were telling ourselves.  Thankful for this new found knowledge, we began changing our self talk and it was wonderful.

And then we learned the SFT Awareness material and our eyes were opened and lives changed even more.

It all comes back to this truth:  What you focus on expands and is your reality.  Focus on self pity and you get self pity.  Focus on blessings and you’ll get more blessings.

The truth of the matter is we were not made for self pity and misery, but for greatness, as Lance reminds us in his post about fear.  We will never reach our potential if we are stuck in self pity. Changing our mindset and attitude to greatness and reminding ourselves of our worth will reap many blessings for us.  (I’m not talking about money here, I’m talking about our mindset and our every aspect of our lives.)

Wayne Leeper, in his excellent book, God’s Way for Finding Every State Contentment, notes that, “It is easy to get down in the dumps, but staying there is a matter of choice.  We can choose to live a life of self pity, gloom and doom or we can choose to live a life of optimism and joy” (just as the wise man Solomon noted in the opening quote, above.)

Have you fallen prey to the thinking error of self pity, gloom and doom?  How is it or how has it affected your life?  Or how have you seen it effect others’ lives?  Do you have a success story of overcoming self pity and choosing a life of joy?

Coffee of the Week:  Deadman’s Reach