We find what we’re focused on.

“The more you believe in something, the more you will experience it.  For instance, if you think people are generally evil and the kind who will take advantage of you, well, then you will experience that!  If you believe the world is mostly made up of good, honorable people, then that’s what you’ll have in your life.  It’s an energy thing - like attracts like.” - Stephen Hopson

I began writing a post yesterday (actually now, it was day before yesterday), but my thoughts and experiences led me to write this one instead.  I was already in the process of writing about this when I came across Stephen Hopson’s comment (above) on my interview at his blog.  Was that coincidence???  It just fit so well with the whole point of this post.

Things are exactly/precisely the way we perceive them to be - the way we have created in our minds that they will be - the way we have told ourselves they are or would be. We naturally or automatically look for/see and listen for/hear things that confirm our thoughts and intentions. “That’s it!” (usually when we’re focused on the positive) or “Aha, just as I thought!” (usually when we’re focused on the negative)   (I wrote this paragraph before reading Stephen’s comment above!)

It works both ways exactly the same.  If we tell ourselves negative things we believe that and find things to prove or validate that.  If we tell ourselves positive things we believe that and find things to prove that.

photo by:  Brymo

In regard to others:

Example: I saw a perfect example of this over the weekend.  Someone was convinced that I was always doing something for a certain reason (Only sometimes do I do this bad habit - yes, I admit that maybe sometimes I do, although not intentionally - something else for me to work on :) ).  They heard me say something and got upset with me because they interpreted it as a confirmation of my bad intentions (which did not even exist.)

In regard to ourselves:

How it works:

*  If we convince ourselves that we are “good for nothing” then we communicate that message (usually subconsciously) to others.  They typically react accordingly since that is the message we give them.  Then that confirms our thoughts.  We conclude, “Well, I was right.  They think I’m a nobody too.”

However, often times, the person is not even reacting to us.  In reality, they are simply saying something or doing something and we perceive in a distorted way.

*  The opposite is true as well.  If we believe that we are a beautiful person on the inside we communicate that to others.  They react accordingly since that is the message we give them.  Then that confirms our thoughts.  We conclude, “Well, I was right.  I am beautiful, aren’t I?”

But hey, so what if the person is not actually reacting to our positive vibes?  If we perceive it in a good way, is that harmful?  It’s certainly better to perceive good than bad.

Example: Just yesterday I was reminded of someone that I know very well.  She has convinced herself that people are evil with evil intentions and that everyone is against her and out to get her and cause her harm.  She is also convinced that people don’t want to be around her.  Almost very literally, everything is a confirmation of these thoughts and beliefs that she has.  Subconsciously she even pushes people away and then her thoughts are confirmed…. “Just as I thought.  No one wants to be around me.”

Principle:  A person sees exactly what they tell themselves is real.  A person creates their own confirmations based upon what they have already told themselves is true.

* Note: I am not saying that there is no reality.  Only that we often create our own reality based on our perceptions of the world (or should I say preconceptions?).  The negative realities we create have as their foundation thinking errors, which we have at least partially discussed.

How to apply this principle:

We are in control of exactly what we find and how we perceive things.  We find exactly what we tell ourselves we will find.  If we are open to and believe there is good in everything then we find good.  If we are open to and believe there are answers we find answers.  If we are open to and believe there are solutions to problems, we find solutions.  If we are open to and believe our dreams will come true, we look for and find ways to make our dreams come true.  If we tell ourselves it’s possible then our minds will find a way.  This was a profound truth I took away from one of my favorite books, The Magic of Thinking Big, by Dr. Paul J. Schwartz.  (This was the first personal growth book I ever read many years ago.  I couldn’t recommend it enough!)

Food for thought and discussion:

What reality have you created?

Are you in control of your thoughts and what you are focused on or are your thoughts and focus in control of you?

Are you looking for confirmation for negative thoughts or positive ones?

What examples of this have you witnessed either in yourself or others?

This post was helpful.  How can I contribute something in return?

By purchasing something from our coffee shop or bookstore.  (It’s for a good cause.)  (I know there’s AT LEAST 20 coffee lovers who have enjoyed this post and at least that many people who love to read.  Go ahead… Click on the links.  They won’t bite. :) )