Have you ever lied to yourself and believed it?  Chances are you have.  Most people have.  I have.  That’s basically what thinking errors are and most people engage in at least some of them.

This one series on accurate thinking has the potential to change a person’s life in very drastic ways. It changed mine in probably more ways than I can ever name.

Many people are very offended to think that someone would suggest that they do not think accurately.  If that is you, know that you are not alone.  “What do you mean I’m not thinking right?” might be a typical reaction.  It’s ok if you feel that resistance.  Once you see the thinking errors you will probably notice right away that you use at least some of them.  If not, then good for you.  You are rare indeed.

Before we begin I would like to include these words by my friend Ron in his book, Removing Emotional Pain:

Accurate thinking is perfected by the ability to spot thinking errors and replace them with intentionally structured accurate thoughts.  It’s easy to learn how to do it, but it’s not easy to learn to do it.  It takes a lot of hard work to turn from a discipline that is automatic and comfortable to one requiring intentional effort.  Mastering the technique is hard and it takes work, but it’s not impossible.  [and I would add to that WELL WORTH IT!!!]

Thinking errors can not be replaced with accurate thoughts unless they are first spotted.  The way to spot errors is through familiarity.  Becoming so familiar with errors that they can be easily recognized is the key to mastering the skill of accurate thinking.

So let’s take a look at some of the thinking errors:

1. Using names or labels for people, things, or situations to justify not liking them, it, or the situation.

Ever done that one?  I’ll be the first to admit that I have.  This can come in lots of forms.  Have you ever said, “That was stupid” or “He is stupid.”  ”He is a bad boy.”  “He’s a pig.” are some others.  Has your boss or spouse ever asked you to do something and you said, “That’s crazy” or “she’s crazy.”    Many people are prejudice and think that only their own race or nationality is good so they might say, “Did you see what that ________ man did (filling in a word they think describes the person)?”  Note:  Sometimes a word  might be an accurate description - it’s the intent that makes the difference. If the name or label is used to justify not liking them then that’s where the problem lies.  These are just a few examples.

2.  Jumping to conclusions without taking the time to gather all the facts.

Ever particiapted in that one.  Once again, I have.  This one can really tear a person up and cause lots of turmoil.  I can think of someone in particular who uses this one over and over again.  The best way I know to describe that person is miserable.

When you start assuming things, it’s a good rule to ask yourself if anything else could be going on.  If you haven’t been given all the facts then don’t make up your own facts.

Maybe you notice that your neighbor is home almost all the time and you say to yourself, “They sure are lazy.”  Could they have a computer based business where they work at home?  Could they have bad health and are unable to work.  You could say, “They may be lazy, but there might be something else going on.”  Changing your words from is and are to might be or may be is a good tip.

Is your date late to pick you up?  Do you automatically start saying, “He so irresponsible.  He doesn’t even care about me. I bet he forgot all about me.  He went to hang out with his friends instead.  Men never do like me.”  Could it be that he got stuck in traffic because of a bad wreck and left his cell phone at home?  Is it possible that he had car trouble?  What other possibilities are there?  What if he was stuck in traffic and he finally comes to pick you up and you just start yelling at him and insulting him.  Are you going to have a good or bad evening?

There are numerous other examples we could use, but this should get the idea across.

Optimal Thinking: How to Be Your Best Self

What Now?

To keep it simple we’ll stick with these two thinking errors today.  This week, work hard on noticing these two errors in your thinking and in those around you, on TV, on the radio, everywhere you go.  I don’t watch the news, but if you do it’s likely you may spot some on there as well.  Once you spot one then turn it into an accurate thought.

Note:  I wouldn’t recommend going around and telling people - “Ha,  that’s a thinking error.”  Some of you may be able to get away with that, but you may get slapped in the face.  Just work on the person you can change - yourself.

Thinking back, can you think of a time when you used either one of these thinking errors?

Is this blog helpful to you?  Consider expanding yourself even more by purchasing from the P4P Bookstore.

photo by:  ronin691