What’s Holding You Back? Part 2…Moving Forward
Big Picture, Peace, focus, goals, happiness, inner peace, opportunities, positive attitude, positive thinking, principles, priorities, wisdom June 18th, 2008In our last post, we discussed the importance of discovering what holds us back from acheiving what we want or from being where we want to be.
With all we said last week, there are some things to keep in mind as you work to figure out what is holding you back. We had some great discussion that I would encourage you to read if you have not yet. A common theme that kept appearing in the discussion (which was already going to be a major point of this current post) was…
photo by: _Gene_
* Don’t obsess over or stay focused on what is holding you back. Work to figure these things out, but don’t obsess over the problem. Remember that what you focus on expands, as Andrea Hess noted in our comment section in the last post. Stay focused on moving forward when you do work to figure out what is holding you back. THE INTENTION SHOULD ALWAYS BE TO LEARN FROM WHAT’S HOLDING YOU BACK SO THAT YOU CAN MOVE FORWARD.
* It is common to have fear of self discovery. Don’t allow this to stop or cripple you. Remember the purpose is to make you a better person, not to wallow in self pity. I used to fear looking deep into my life. Now I want to look there so that I can grow from it and become better.
* Don’t get discouraged if you can’t figure it out immediately and don’t try too hard. Suggest to yourself that you will figure it out. Set aside some time to think about it, say 20 minutes. Pray that God will help reveal these things to you. But don’t try too hard. Sometimes the harder we try the more we are working against ourselves. You may simply let your mind wander and see where it takes you and then move on. If you haven’t figured anything out after this time, don’t fret about it. It will come to you. Just focus on moving forward and go on. Our continued discussion will serve to reveal these things to you so that you can learn and grow.
* Once you figure out something that is holding you back, say to yourself, “Great, now I know how to move forward!” Then write down what has been holding you back and what you are going to do to overcome it and act on it immediately. Do you really want one more wasted day? Knowledge alone will get you nowhere. It will take action - action that will get you where you want to be.
Okay, now that you are not stuck on the problems, let’s get specific. To stay with our theme, the focus will be on what holds you back from inner peace. Many of the same principles can apply to any goal you set.
Let’s take a look at some blockers and how to overcome them.
Lack of knowledge - Many people don’t have peace in their lives simply because they don’t know how to have peace in their lives. That is the purpose of this blog. I’m assuming that most of you are here because you want to know how to have that peace. Keep reading. Knowledge is key.
Fear of the unknown or letting go - Many people are in their comfort zone and are afraid of pushing forward to the peace that is on the other side. Fear of getting away from the things with which they are familiar is very frightening. If this describes you, rest assured that what is on the other side is well worth the effort. Write down somewhere, “I recognize that I am afraid, but I realize that what is on the other side is much better. It is worth letting go of the things with which I am familiar in order to have peace in my life. I resolve to let go of all of it.” Let your mind focus on that for a minute.
photo by: Dan4th
Lack of consciousness or awareness- Some people are stuck in autopilot without even the awareness that they do not have peace. They simply live their lives like they always have without a second thought, always doing what they have always done and not even knowing why. They do not know that they can change their lives by changing their thinking. They are just trying to get through the day instead of getting something from the day. If this is you, stay tuned to see how you can change your thoughts to change your life. Begin thinking about what you can do to get something out of the day. What can you do to brighten someone else’s day? Become aware of the negative thought patterns in your mind and begin replacing them with postive ones.
Lack of focus - Certainly focus is important. As we stated earlier, what you focus on expands. Do you want peace. Focus on peace. Is there chaos in your life? Are you focused on the chaos? Are you surrounded by problems. Are you focued on them? What if you asked yourself how you could turn these problems into peace? How would you do that? It takes intention. It takes focus - concentrated focus.
Are you focused on the right things? What are your priorities? If you don’t know, it’s time to think about them and write them down and number them. If you don’t know what your priorities are peace will never be possible in your life. Priorities are a must! Priorities allow you to focus.
More ways to move forward next time….
What are some more things that you have discovered that has held you back?
Jennifer -
Davidya @ in2deep blog has immense wisdom on this subject. According to him, if we allow thoughts to flow rather than resist, as we normally do (procrastination), positive thoughts will come in abundance to move us forward with intense feeling of ‘let go’. I just stumbled this post.
Shilpan, that’s a good way to put it. Until we recognize the wall, embrace it and discover it instead of resisting or being afraid of it, and have our thoughts focused on moving forward we will just keep hitting the wall over and over again. Thank you for your comment.
Hi Jennifer,
I think a lot of people are afraid to move forward because it might hurt someone else’s feelings. Anytime we work on self improvement, we change. Our loved ones may not like the changes in us, especially if we learn how not to be a doormat. But to find inner peace, we may have to hurt someone else’s feelings. In some cases, we may have to end relationships, especially if they’re toxic.
Hi Jennifer,
I just left Patricia Singleton’s blog and her post was so powerful I had to come back and share the link as it pertains to your post(I normally won’t share links in comments). Her story is one worth reading, but her journey to healing is what makes her blog a “page turner”.
Here’s the link: Blame and Resentment Are Toxic Emotions
Thanks Jennifer for letting me share this find.
Barbara, that is a good point about how some people are afraid to move forward because they think they might hurt someone else. That is very real for some people. The thing to remember is that as long as you are living your life to please someone else you will never be happy and ironically they will not either. It is not healthy for either person. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t do things to bring a smile to other people’s faces and try to enhance their lives. That’s a whole different story. You will never be very effective at that unless you have peace first within yourself.
Thanks for sharing that link. Patricia has an interesting blog. This particular post was really good. It gets into some of the next few posts I will be doing. It does go very well with our topic here! Blame and resentment restrain us in pretty much every area of our lives. It is so freeing to let go of it. I know personally. We can’t be who we are while we’re holding onto them.
I hate that post I really do, I have to be honest and say that. I can’t find a thing to argue with and that’s frustrating to me. Next time can you say something that doesn’t make 100% sense and I can jump all over it? That would be nice.
There’s a first time for everything. I’ll try harder to say something that doesn’t make sense next time so you can disagree with me.
There are so many things that often hold people back from succeeding. You have mentioned so many great ones here! From the fear of self discovery to things not happening as fast as we would like them to happen, we can often sabotage our own success. Thank you for making me think here and bringing up some things (impatience) that I have noticed myself doing to impede my success in certain areas. I know I need to push through these things and I will come out on the other end in a great place!
Great article as always,
Doc KC
I think focus is key. You have to choose a target and focus on it consistently until you hit it. Anything that pulls your attention away from the target is a distraction. I love reading posts on how to move forward Jennifer
Doc KC, Interesting that you brought up about impatience. I have been thinking about that since yesterday. Often times it’s hard to know whether to keep pushing through on the same path or to take a different road to get to the same destination. Do I keep doing what I’m doing to get where I want to be or do I re-evaluate? The important thing to remember is that the only ones who fail are the ones who quit. I know you’re not a quitter. You will come out on top.
Marelisa, you are so right! Focus (and belief that you can) are the most important ingredients. When we learn to recognize the things that pull us away it sure makes it much easier to move forward. Glad you are enjoying learning how to move forward. I’m enjoying having your around and reading your comments.
Forward everyone! FORWARD! Stay focused!
You definitely hit on the big reasons why folks play it safe. Among them my vote goes to awareness or the lack of it. There is always another level of awareness waiting for us to reach. It’s the realizations that come with increased awareness that truly get us moving.
Tom, well said. There is always another level of awareness for us to reach. That’s why an open mind and reading are so crucial. That’s why I love books so much. How will you ever reach the level you want if you’re not constantly searching and learning. It’s a frame of mind you must stay in that you don’t know it all, but are willing to learn and are searching.
Sometimes the good of the ONE - You - simply outweighs the good of the many. And you need to make sure the ONE is taken care of and moving forward before you can take care of others and help them too!
Kind of like Benny says, just a different angle - You cannot take care of anyone unless you take care of yourself (an old cop’s saying) In otherwords if you don’t look out for yourself, you cannot do your job of helping others - make sure you go home today!
Benny, yes you have to first take care of yourself so that you can move forward.
Barry, welcome! right on! I can see how that would be very good advice for a cop to use as are they are always out helping people. It’s easy for some people to get so caught up in helping others that they negelect themselves. Thanks for your input. Feel free to make a comment any time.
I am so glad Wendi brought me here! I am learning so much! I know one of my biggest problems is not believing in myself! I’m learning to and I’m learning that I am in control and can have control over areas of my life that were twisting in the wind! My latest blog is about realizing I can take the control back!
thanks for the great posts, I’ll keep checking in!
Jenny, I’m so glad Wendi brought you here too! I’m so glad you are learning and I love having your comments. Beleiving in ourselves is something with which MANY people struggle. It seems if you are not really brought up to believe in yourself that it’s a huge obstacle to overcome. However, the good news is that it can be done. I am so happy to hear that you are making progress. Don’t ever forget you can do it!
In reality we must realize that our creator is in ultimate control. But the beauty of the way God made us is that He gave us the power to choose - to choose the way we live our lives, to change the things we need to change, to choose all of our thoughts and all of our actions. Now that is powerful!
[...] or any goal we ever set for ourselves. Although, a person’s desire to have inner peace and willingness to let go of the things that hold them back are certainly the foundations. If you are new to the discussion you will find it very helpful to [...]
‘Fear of the unknown or letting go - Many people are in their comfort zone and are afraid of pushing forward to the peace that is on the other side. Fear of getting away from the things with which they are familiar is very frightening. If this describes you, rest assured that what is on the other side is well worth the effort. Write down somewhere, “I recognize that I am afraid, but I realize that what is on the other side is much better. It is worth letting go of the things with which I am familiar in order to have peace in my life. I resolve to let go of all of it.” Let your mind focus on that for a minute.’
Timely that I read this now. I am about to move out from the city to the countryside and I am not sure if I will get the property I want. It is so up in the air and my patience is being tried. ( Thank you for being patient when posting a comment on my blog. Much appreciated ).
I am also having to let go of the mental health team who support me. It feels daunting to think I have to face new professionals and learn to trust and feel comfortable for me to open up.
I am anxious about learning to live and cope on my own. But I like the idea that ‘ peace that is on the other side ‘. That is a positive way to approach the coming stressful weeks.
Jackal, I’m so happy that this piece gave you comfort here. I wish you all the best as you embark on this new adventure. May you learn much patience and may everything work out for the best for you. Who knows - the new professionals may be just what you need. May lots of growth and peace be yours during this anxious time and in the days ahead.
Thanks Jennifer!
I am struggling to dump my boyfriend of 10 years. But it is so hard because he is insisting that he still loves me no matter what i think.I want to belive that I will get someone who will love me better.