The Art of Peaceful Bill Paying
Peace, gratitude, inner peace, money, opportunities, positive attitude, positive thinking, thankfulness May 21st, 2008
Does the thought of paying the bills make you cringe? If so, you are not alone.
This post is a special request from none other than Dr. Nicole Sundene. I bet she never thought I would actually write a post with this title. 
I find it interesting that Dr. Nicole wrote a post about heartburn after suggesting that I write one about “the art of peaceful bill paying.” It must be a really sour task for her. At first I just laughed at this suggestion (which I think she meant for me to do), but then I put some more thought into it and asked myself, “How many people do struggle with this bill paying stuff?” Do you? Bill paying used to be one of my husband’s biggest soap boxes. He would rant and rave and rant and rave about it and then rant some more. So the more I thought about it, the more I realized this was a real issue for people. Can we find peace in bill paying??? While I don’t claim to be a financial expert, I have learned a lot and I have some suggestions that just might help you have some peace about paying your bills:
1. My first suggestion to find peace in bill paying is to set aside some intentional alone time when you are rested and fresh where you can think clearly with no distractions. In order for us to ever move forward to better things in any area of our lives, we must first uncover the problem or our negative thoughts that are causing us mental anguish. So, in this situation, we must first uncover what we do not like about bill paying. Then we can replace it with some good thoughts. So at this time you have set aside, ask yourself some questions and write down the answers….
What are your thoughts and feelings about bill paying? What is it that I do not like about paying bills? Is it the time it takes to pay them? Do I hate letting go of my money? Do I not have enough money to pay my bills? Am I giving the majority of my money to credit card companies? Am I paying for things that aren’t really important? Uncover what it is exactly. Keep asking yourself questions until you figure out what is causing the anguish. Asking “why?” repeatedly after asking the initial questions may be very beneficial to get to the root of the problem.
2. Simplify! Simplify! and/or get a better and higher paying job. Look at your bills. Are you struggling to have enough money to pay your bills? If so, the problem is either one of two things here. Either there is an overspending issue or a higher paying job or career path is the answer.
Are you spending money on things and more things that promise to bring you happiness, but never do? Are the things you are buying or putting on your credit card leaving you empty and broke? If so, this is an overspending issue caused by a lack of inner peace (therefore, you’re looking for happiness on the outside) or maybe it’s just a lack of control. Learning to control your spending or simplifying your life to the things that really bring you happiness and peace and then identifying and eliminating the things that do not may be the key. Remember this rule: Don’t spend what you don’t have. Thankfully, money managment is a skill that can be learned. My favorite financial guru and teacher is Dave Ramsey. His books: The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness
If you are living on the basics and still don’t have enough money then it’s time to do some soul searching and either change jobs or find your purpose and vision in life. Are you settling for the job you have now? You’re worth more than that! You were made for greatness not mediocrity!
3. As Tim Brownson says, Attitude is Everything! although Doc KC says some other factors play a role in our thinking. (Doc KC has some very valid points, but I have to say I lean more towards Tim’s view on this one, as I think Benny Greenberg would as well.)
Now that we have uncovered the negative thoughts that go along with bill paying, we have to find some positive thoughts to replace them. And it is possible that these positive thoughts will lead to the ugly word….. action. Oh no! Don’t fret though. It will all be worth it. It’s all changes for the better.
Try to look for the opposite of the negative thought you have uncovered or for the action it would require to make it positive.
Do you have enough money to pay your bills? It’s time to hit your knees and thank God for all the ways He has blessed you. Heading into paying the bills with this attitude of gratitude will change how you look at paying the bills. As you write each bill thank God for the money to pay that one. You may even start to look forward to paying the bills!
Do you not have enough money to pay the bills? Great! Yes, that’s right - Great! Look for opportunites ahead. You always have a choice in everything you do. I will say that again - You always have a choice in everything you do. Thank God for all the opportunities ahead that will make it possible to pay the bills and start looking for the opportunities and make it happen.
Is it a lack of time that is plaguing you? Great! This is an opportunity to learn and apply some time management skills.
Are you still paying for your student loans? Be thankful that you had and took to opportunity to go to school.
In other words, start programing your mind to think gratitude, solution and opportunity instead of yuck, yuck, yuck, not again!
4. And lastly, learn the art of online bill pay. Just make sure your internet connection is secure before you do this. At one time my husband threatened to feed all the bills to the garbage disposal. Then one day he happened to discover this online bill pay thing and every since then he has been one happy camper. It takes him about one minute to get on, click “make payment” and he’s done. This has taken so much hassle out of bill paying and has given him much peace.
Happy peaceful bill paying to you!
What are the things that cause you anguish in bill paying?
What have you learned that brings you peace in bill paying?
May 21st, 2008 at 11:43 am
I appreciate the reference make to my article, but please keep in mind that I feel there are MANY factors that lead to making change in our lives. I bring up all sides of coin, so to speak, and do not lean one way or another.
I do recognize that there are many different factors that are involved in making changes in our lives and do not just look at the situation at black and white. i.e. Change your attitude, change you life. I try to bring out all possibilities, medical conditions, and personalities.
I don’t know how anyone can debate the tons and tons of medical journals that are out there that speak towards chemical imbalances. I’m NOT saying that everyone has one, however.
Don’t get me wrong, for those with healthy brain functioning, changing attitude CAN BE EVERYTING in changing your life, but SOMETIMES, other factors get in the way.
Thank you for allowing me to express this point.
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
May 21st, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Dr KC, Thank you for clarifying and giving more information. I do definately agree with you that other factors can contribute to the way we think and making change in our lives - especially in regards to a medical condition like chemical imbalances.
I believe that environmental factors and our upbringing do definitely affect the way we think and can give us huge challenges to overcome before we can move forward. However, if there is no hindrance like a chemical imbalance we must not lean on these other factors as excuses, like many people do.
You said it well with these words…”for those with healthy brain functioning, changing attitude CAN BE EVERYTHING in changing your life, but SOMETIMES, other factors get in the way.” Who can really argue with that??
Thank you again for your words of wisdom and clarification. You’re always welcome to express yourself here.
May 21st, 2008 at 1:51 pm
I did want to add here though, that evidence shows that changing the way we think changes our brain chemistry.
See this post: http://principlesforpeace.com/?p=37
May 21st, 2008 at 3:19 pm
I have all of the household bills set up to be paid automatically each month. It’s been incredibly stress free as a result, except I just have to make sure we have enough money in the account each month!
May 21st, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Great Article Jennifer…
Did I say something to give you a little inspiration? I love the approach you took with the article and the approach you take in general. You can change the way you are by simply changing your Attitude (I like to call it a Ya-ttitude™ - but that’s just me). I think you may want to stay tuned to a few of my upcoming posts - as I will have some more fuel for your “the thoughts of our mind can change the chemistry of our brain” comment.
Just ask any hypochondriac - not take that thought and turn it on its head!
Benny
May 21st, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Karen, Welcome! That is the ultimate of ultimates in peaceful bill paying. Deposit money and you’re done. That is my husband’s next strategy. Thanks for the input, as I have forgotten that was an option.
Benny, thanks for your compliment. Yes, I think some of your comments on my last post helped to get my wheels turning. I’ll give the credit to both you and Dr. Nicole for this one.
You have rightly said…”You can change the way you are by simply changing your Attitude. I love your Ya-ttitude™
and I look forward to your future posts! Yes, I have seen lots of numbers for the percentage of diseases that are caused by our thinking. I’ve seen anywhere from 80% on up to 90something percent. That will make you think!!
May 21st, 2008 at 9:52 pm
Jennifer -
You’ve hit nail in the head with - “Don’t spend what you don’t have.”. My dad told me years ago when I started my life on my own - “Never spread you led beyond the blanket.” meaning stay with in your means. If we simplify and spend less, we should have enough money to pay bills. If someone is struggling, take Dave Ramsey’s advice to pay cash for everything you buy. You have to pay for your bill instantly with that. Thanks for the link. I’ve submitted this to Stumble.
May 21st, 2008 at 10:01 pm
Those were extremely wise words that your father told you! Thanks for sharing that.
I find it funny, that most people spend what they make. It is a very wise person that spends less than they make. Using Dave Ramsey’s system will teach a person how to do that. Simplification is so crucial to being wise financially as you point out so well in so many of your posts.
May 21st, 2008 at 10:20 pm
@Shilpan
The “don’t spend what you don’t have” covers so much more - Your dad was a genius…
Not just money - I love the developing discussions here!
Ben
May 21st, 2008 at 11:06 pm
Yes, the developing discussions - that’s exactly what I was going for around here. Thanks for helping to create it, Benny!
May 22nd, 2008 at 2:38 am
Hi Jennifer,
Such great advice. I love to pay bills, however, being self employed, sometimes we are waiting for money from our clients (that part I don’t like - but am thankful for the work). I sing my praises every time I can write “paid in full”. It’s a freeing feeling.
I find using cash helps to not spend as much. It makes me ask myself if I really need an item. Often, I put it back. And, if I buy something, I always keep the receipt, just in case it was an impulse item.
May 22nd, 2008 at 6:11 am
Jennifer:
This one made me smile because once upon a time I felt a sense of anxiety when paying bills until I discovered that I was allowing myself to think negative thoughts during the process.
You got it right when you said it’s important to have an attitude of gratitude. Nowadays I’m grateful to pay the bills because I can! While writing checks, I feel good about keeping everything current and paid on time because it is about responsibility. I love feeling like I’m a responsible person. For instance, I had a huge bill for my speaking demo tape and the vendor allowed me to pay it down over time. It felt good to one day write a huge check to pay a large chunk of it off. I was feeling grateful for the ability to do this.
A lot of the anxiety that comes with bill paying has to do with financial lack in our minds. We fear that we are losing money when we pay our bills. One way of reversing it is to imagine our checkbook like a hole in the sand on the beach that gets filled everytime it gets dug. Know what I mean?
Nice job. You touched on something that affects many people.
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:43 am
Wow Barbara! I would say that you are a very rare person - one who enjoys paying bills. I would say that people could learn a lot from you. Yes, I come from a family with a lot of self employed people in it. We know how stressful that can be.
There truly is nothing like having that “paid in full” feeling.
Paying for things is cash is so helpful in teaching us to not overspend. I’m like you, I keep that receipt in case I change my mind later. Wise advice once again Barbara.
Stephen, Thanks for sharing your story - a real life example of how changing our attitude can make all the difference. Gratitude is so huge as you are always teaching in your blog. Your “end of the week gratitude” is one of my very favorite parts of your blog.
I guess as a motivational speaker Stephen, that you have to be on your toes about responsibility since you are motivating others to be responsible.
Although I know you would be responsible anyway.
Neat analogy you shared with us about the hole in the sand. Great way to look at it! Thanks!
May 23rd, 2008 at 5:50 am
Hi Jennifer - good article!
For quite a long while now I have paid bills as soon as I could after getting them - it just keeps things clear. I also have always lived within my means - my issue has been more to learn to spend money when I have it - I must be a skinflint!
Cheers - Robin
May 23rd, 2008 at 10:29 am
Robin, welcome!!! And thanks for leaving a comment - and a very helpful one at that. You sound like my husband. When we first got married he would pay the bills immediately when they came in the mail. He would go to utility company as soon as he took the bill out of the mailbox. He is also a “tight wad” (as I call it). Things changed drastically when he went back to school (not the tight wad part:) ). The income dropped and he also got very busy and it was so hard to get back into things after that. Having that balance is so crucial - saving, being responsible and buying the things you need. So to that, I say, “Strive for balance.” Also, try to discover why it is so hard for you to let go and spend when you need to. There may be something there hidden. Just a thought….
Again, thanks for your helpful comment. Paying the bills immediately will certainly give a person peace.
May 23rd, 2008 at 11:31 am
This is hilarious and helpful! I am so glad you posted about this. Especially the point about overspending. It seems like a lot of my friends are always “keeping up with the Jones’” so no matter how much money they make they are always stressed because they are forced to overspend. Automatic bill paying is the best way to go in my opinion!
Great article!! Thanks Jennifer
May 23rd, 2008 at 7:14 pm
Dr. Nicole, I thought you would get a big kick out of this.
You’re right, I would say that automatic bill pay is the way to go - that and not caring to keep up with the Jones’ - no offense if someone reading this has the last name of Jones.
Overspending creates so much stress! I think most people have enough stress already.
June 5th, 2008 at 10:55 am
I personally enjoy paying most bills online. It saves money on stamps and envelopes on top of being quick.
June 5th, 2008 at 11:25 am
Gary,
Thanks for stopping by. Yes, online bill pay is one of the best things since sliced bread.
October 27th, 2008 at 6:22 pm
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