Help!! I’m in Too Deep and I Need Out!
Big Picture, Peace, Uncategorized, focus, goals, happiness, inner peace, marital satisfaction, positive attitude, priorities, relantionships, responsibility, time management, wisdom May 13th, 2008Have you ever had your head spinning because you had so much going on, so many things to do? Chances are you have. Why is that? Why is life so cluttered with so much? Well, it doesn’t have to be. It wasn’t designed to be that way? So why is it? Let’s discuss….
The topic of simplicity has been prominent in my mind lately. I’ve been thinking about how we will have so much peace in our lives if we simply simplify.
How much time do we spend chasing after things that aren’t even important? How much time and energy do we spend chasing after money and material possessions? It seems that often that is what makes our lives so complex (not always, but often). “So you mean to tell me that we actually have control over the chaos and craziness in our lives? - that it doesn’t have to be so crazy and complex?” Absolutely. You always have the power to control how you live your life and to fill it with peace. But…. I know, there’s so much you have to do. I know… I know… I really do understand.
My husband and I were shopping for a clothes dryers a week or two ago. The one I wanted was a Fisher & Paykel. Ever heard of them? I hadn’t until about a year ago. They are the best on the market. They are a New Zealand company? What makes them so great? What does this have to do with anything? Fisher & Paykel are the best, yet they are the most simple machines out there. They have seven moving parts? Why? “The less moving parts, the less parts to tear up” is their moto. Well, I didn’t quiet want to pay the price tag on that dryer, so we bought a good ole American made dryer with lots of very cheap moving parts that will only last a few years. Maybe in about 5 years when my dryer breaks down, I’ll break down and shell out the dough for something that will last for more than five years.
So what can we learn from Fisher & Paykel? Simplicity - They have simplicity mastered. They have eliminated the unnecessary parts and only kept the absolute necessary ones for the dryer to work. So how can we eliminate the unnecessary things from our lives so that there is less to tear up or break down?
1. It is first of all important to understand why we make our lives complex. People are looking for peace. They are looking for happiness. They are looking for contentment. They are looking for approval. Because they don’t have these things on the inside, they look for it in outside - in things like possessions and activities. Working on making ourselves beautiful on the inside will eliminate the need for so many possessions and things to do on the outside.
2. Reducing our lives to the absolute necessary things by laying out what is most important to us is crucial if we want to have any semblance of sanity. Knowing what is most important is key to eliminating what is least importanat. This is such a liberating thing to do as it will free up so much time - time that we didn’t know we had because we were spending it on things that were’t even important to us to begin with.
3. Remember that the more things we have and buy the more responsibility we have and the more we have to worry about and be concerned with. The more things we have the more of our time and energy is required to tend to them. I know that when I was child I didn’t have a lot of toys - I had some, but not a ton of them, and I loved life as a kid. I didn’t need a lot of “things” to make me happy. I was content to go outside and play in the dirt or the woods beside my house. These days, kids have so many toys they could never possibly play with all of them and they never do. They can’t even fit them in their room or garage.
4.. Here are some questions we can ask ourselves to help simplify life:
- “Which of the things I have and am doing now are the least important to me? Which are the most important to me?”
- “If I were only given one month to live what would I spend my time doing?” What about one week? What about one day?
- Before buying something, ask yourself, “Is this going to make my life more complicated? Will this free up my time to do what is really important or will this take time away from the things that are most important to me?”
- “Will this thing or activity add value to me or to those that I love or will it take away value?”
- “What did I enjoy as a child?” Chances are those are still the simple things that will still bring joy to you.
- “How can I accomplish my goals and be the most effective with the least amount of time, resources and money?”
- “Is this important or just urgent?”
- And to sum it all up: “What can I do or elimate today to make my life less complex and enjoy it more?”
For more information on simplification I recommend these posts:
7 Ways to Eliminate Emotional Clutter
5 Axioms of Life: A Pathway to Happiness
5 Qualities I Find in Successful Entrepreneurs - especially quality number 3.
Well, for some reason I can’t get this last link to work. Simply go to http://yes-to-me.com/ and scroll down on the far right hand side to “Best of Yes to Me” and click on the first link there. Point number 3 is the one I was drawn to on this post.






Jennifer -
This is by far the best post as simplicity is my favorite topic. In fact, your article is so inspiring that I’m already thinking about writing a post on this subject. Of course, I’ll have to link your article as it really is making me think about my life and what’s important to achieve happiness.
Thanks
Shilpan
Shilpan, I’m so glad I have inspired you to think. That is exactly what I was hoping to get people to do. It’s funny, your articles that I linked to were big inspirations for me to write this one.
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wonderful post Jennifer! I think your listed #1 reason is everything. People are search, looking, hunting, always wanting more and don’t take the time to just stop, simplify and look at what they have. Peace, joy, happiness. Contentment with things as they are barely exists anymore as our complex world poisons us with a desire to just have that one more thing…
As people take time to stop what they are doing and become aware of the way they think, then it becomes possible tor ealize each of us is already happy at the core. There is no need to pursue happiness. To do so implies a person hasn’t yet learned to truly “see.”
I like that fact that you gave some “homework” at the end. It actually takes a step further and gives us a good way to self examine our life.
Good post!
Hi, thank you for the link love! (There is something strange with the link, though — it doesn’t jump to my post. . .)
You make a really good point in asking to clarify what is most important in life. So true!
Mike, Welcome! Thanks for stopping by and for your comment. Yes, some how we have been tricked to think that if we can have just that one more thing, then that will be it for us. It NEVER works though. A temporary high of a few days, a few months at the most, is all we get. I know that when I stop to really look at how blessed I am then I am the most happy and peaceful.
Liara, I love your name! Welcome! Very wise words you have spoken here! A person who is seeking happiness is blind to what is right in front of their faces. They have not yet “seen.” So powerful!!
Shamelle, Welcome to you as well! Glad the homework is helpful. It’s great to see that we need to simplify our lives, but to know how to do it is key.
I actually thought of another question to ask:
If everything were taken away from me except for 5 things (they don’t have to physical in nature - it might be something like a positive attitude) what would I want those five things to be? How about 4 things? 3? 2? 1?
Reducing our lives to these basic most important things is key to “seeing.”
Akemi, Welcome to you! That one quote in your post has really made me think a lot! I don’t know why I can’t get your link to work. I tried all I knew to try, so I just gave directions to find the link from your site. (See above.)
I was thinking last night after I wrote this post that it may have been the Fisher & Paykel washing machine, not the dryer, that only had seven moving parts. Anyway, their dryer has fewer parts than other dryers and the point remains the same.
Simplify… Perfecto!
I often teach this…
Look at the to-do list. Find the one thing on it you really do not want to do - and do it first. Do that type of item FIRST everyday - until it is habitual. Your days are so much better and less complicated when you get the crap out of the way early in the day!
Ben
http://www.ya-ttitude.com
Hi Jennifer,
I like Benny’s idea of doing the least favorite thing first. After you have that out of the way, the rest of your day has nowhere to go, but up.
I agree, simplicity is the key to being able to truly enjoy our everyday lives. You nailed it with your #1 point.
Great post.
Ben and Barbara,
That is fantastic advice. I know that all the experts in time management teach this, especially Brian Tracey. It works too. Imagine that!
Great post - you are so right about happiness coming from within. It’s easy for me to feel like a victim of my life, but when I take an honest look at it, I see that I set the ball in motion. I took on the responsibilities. It’s ego-centric for me to think that *I* have to do certain things. Thanks for the inspiration!
I really like Benny’s idea of doing the least pleasant thing first. Many times when I have a long list of dreadful tasks to accomplish I find that getting the biggest most annoying one out of the way serves me better for completing the rest of my tasks. Like paying bills. Everyone hates paying bills! Can you please write a post on how we can go about enjoying the process? LOL
Recently I did a complete life assessment and realized part of my stress was that I had expectations out of life that were not particularly necessary. I think that when we expect things we then set the stage for chronic disappointment. By expecting less out of life it is easier to just feel that level of contenment with ease, and without having to do too much!
Of course we should still have dreams and aspire towards them, but it is much more important to enjoy the process and feel gratitude in the stages along the way.
“The Art of Peaceful Bill Paying” just a thought! Still LOLOLOL
Well, I’m supposed to be packing for camping now and here I am on the computer. I better get it together before my husband comes home and sees that I haven’t packed yet.
Looks like I need to practice Benny’s advice… lol I did get the dog’s bath out of the way already. That was the biggy.
Jenn, for a long long time I felt like I was the victim. Realizing I could control my happiness by the choices I made was so liberting! Glad I could be an inspiration to you.
Dr. Nicole, You crack me up. “The Art of Peaceful Bill Paying” — I can wrap that one up really quickly…. Marry a man who will do it and then get out of the way. lol JK. I used to pay all the bills when my hubby was a full time undergrad student. As soon as he graduated I never paid another one.
He’s wanting me to get more involved now. Someone help.
Those are wise words about expecting less. We just have to pick out what is MOST important, strive for those, excel at them and let go of some of the other things. It’s about finding balance among the most important things - that allows us to enjoy the process of the things we have chosen as most important. We can’t do everything nor should we feel we should try to do so.
Jennifer,
I am one of those who are always in search of something i think will make me happy. Untill reciently…having my daughter has made me realize it isn’t what i have but who i have in my life that makes me happy. My daughter, husband, friends and family…they make me happy. I’m starting to simplify my life. Something that having my daughter has taught me is that the less you have the less mess you have. haha!!
I know when you wrote this article you were thinking of me!
Thanks for the positive vibes everyone - I could feel them all the way down here. Or was that the heat…
But - peaceful bill paying…
It can and should be done - you want help with a positive spin on it… give me a bill - I’ll give you some spin
Ben
http://www.ya-ttitude.com
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I think that hand in hand with elimating our phyisical clutter, we need to work at elimiating our mental clutter. Some of the best advise I’ve ever gotten from a friend was not to worry about things - either you can do something about it, so go and do it, or you can’t do anything about it, and worrying about it is just a waste of energy. In short life has been great not having soul-eating worries around!
Benny, thanks so much for your words of wisdom here. You are so right in the fact that we can learn to look at everything with a positive attitude. That’s your specialty, huh? More positive vibes to you!
Brooke, thank you so much for stopping by and commenting. (Brooke and I are good friends outside the blogosphere.) That is so neat how this beautiful daughter has put things into perspective for you. It’s interesting to me how children can complicate life in some ways, but at the same time teach us what is most important. Thank you for sharing this.
Minchin, Welcome! So glad you stopped by! That is such great advice. It reminds me of the prayer, “God help me to change the things I can; accept the things I can’t; and have the wisdom to know the difference.” This is a VERY powerful prayer if we truly focus on it’s meaning and open ourselves up to receive God’s blessings by heeding it’s wisdom.
First of all, your website is just beautiful! I felt at peace the minute I entered it. Beautiful photo!
Simplicity is such a subjective term. I know people who couldn’t possibly be happy without having a hundred things going on…and all at the same time. Sitting still is not an option for them. And then I know others who would do anything to sit by a lake all day and soak in the sun.
I think that everyone has to decide for themselves what is going to make them happy and fulfilled. For sure if you want some good stress reducing strategies, this article is a great place to start!
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
Dr. KC, it’s interesting… I was just thinking about this same thing a few days after I wrote this post… about some people not being happy unless they have a hundred things going on at the same time. My question is… are these people really happy being so busy or is that just the way they have always operated or learned to operate? Would they really be happier if they simplified and just focused on what really is important? Just a thought for thought…..
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Great post! What I have found is that in the effort to simplify, we get to the heart of what really matters to each of us — and then we can give greater focus to that which is important vs that which doesn’t really matter that much.
Lance, that is an outstanding simplification of this posts!
Thank you for summing it up in those words. Perfect!
Well, because of spam I have decided to close this post for further comments. If you would like to make a real comment on this post feel free to email me the comment and I will be glad to add it.
Thanks,
Jennifer