Principles for Peace

Wait…. Wait…..Wait.…. Go back up, Go ahead – scroll back up, pause for a moment, take a look at that picture a little longer and take a deep breath. Enjoy the scenery.

Welcome!!!! We’re finally here. It took me a little longer than anticipated, but… we’re finally here. Simply click here to keep your subscription in your reader or Subscribe to Principles for Peace by Email by clicking here. This switch has been in the making for a long time (well, in my head anyway) and in the actual works for several weeks.

Someone told me to start a blog several months back. I asked what to blog about. She said, “Anything. It doesn’t matter.” Keep in mind she was saying this to someone who had never been to a blog. Yeah, I know I was behind. I just had never been exposed to any of it before. So well, you can imagine it has been a real journey trying to figure out what in the world I am doing. It has been great figuring some things out though. I’m glad I’ve arrived at where I’m at now. Growing is good. I have learned a lot about myself.

A little more background here: When I was first starting my online bookstore and coffee shop I had this vision in my head and on paper of what I wanted it to be. Well, the company I used to start the website had templates to choose from, but none fit the image I had in my head. While I love my website and think it is great, I was unable to produce the feel that I wanted to create. And blogger was great for my blog – SOOO easy to use, but I felt so limited once again. I just could not find the feel for my blog that I wanted.

So now, here I am, still keeping my online bookstore and coffee shop at Empowered Reader, but with Word Press I can create the feel – the environment I was going for initially for everything. So what feel was I going for? What did I want to create? I thought you would never ask….

• The relaxing warm welcoming feel that a local bookstore and coffee shop gives you or the feeling you get from a relaxing walk in nature.
• An inviting comfortable place to come and hang out and feel safe and be heard – listened to nonjudgementally, while also learning something new.
• A place where you can relax, listen to some free music if you choose (coming soon) , drink a cup of coffee or maybe tea (coming soon) if you want, all while reading, learning and giving your two cents (no spamming of course). ….Who knows….. an art gallery may even show up here.
  
• A no pressure place. Occasionally, I will recommend products, especially books. That’s just because it’s my passion and because they help me so much, and its my hope they can help you also. No pressure though, it’s all your choice and all for your benefit.

Please say hi and introduce yourself in the comment section. You are very welcome here. If you are just too shy, send me an email. Let me know you exist and tell me a little about yourself. I do love to listen and make friends.

At Principles for Peace, our focus will be on the principles necessary for inner peace – i.e. concepts whose natural results end in peace. It will also tell of my continual journey of mastering inner peace. I still have so much growing to do and I look forward to the roads ahead and sharing it with you. I have been so fortunate to learn so much about achieving inner peace, especially from my friend Ron who recently passed away. I was sooooo fortunate to have known him and I look forward to passing along to you the principles he taught me. This now leads me to the dedication of this blog:

This blog will be dedicated to my friend, Ron Wilkins, who completely mastered the art of inner peace and passed it along to others. To learn more about him please click here to read my tribute to him or visit this website. I am deeply indebted to him and all he taught me. I believe he was the wisest, most peaceful, caring man I have ever known. What a blessing to have known him!!

We’ll be adding more pages and things here along the way, so keep your eyes open. We’ll keep you informed also so you won’t miss out. If you wish to check those out that’s great. If you choose to simply hang out here that’s great too. Come on in and relax.

Don’t forget to subscribe via a reader or Subscribe to Principles for Peace by Email !  Also, don’t forget to tell a friend or two about your new hangout.

photo by: Salim Virgi

As promised in an earlier post, here’s my feeble attempt to pay tribute to my friend and teacher that changed my life and the lives of thousands of others forever:

I never will forget the first time I noticed this man. It was in Bible class at church. He sat as a student in class, but when he opened his mouth to make a comment all I noticed was an emblem of peace and wisdom and a man of God. His presence of peace almost made me melt. I remember thinking, “Who is this man? I have to meet him.” Each comment he made thereafter, each prayer he prayed, each time he spoke, each time I …… (read more…….)

Here is my friend Ron talking about some of the work he did. What a man!

I would like to thank my readers for their loyalty and their comments. You are what keeps me going, keeps me writing. You make it all worth while!! My apologies for dropping off the face of the earth for the last week….

I got word last Wednesday, that a good friend, teacher, and mentor was in the hospital. We were so fortunate to be able to see him Wednesday night before he passed from this earth on Thursday morning. It has been a time of much grieving and a time of rejoicing as he has now gone home.

I really cannot stand to think about where I would be now without him. He taught me more about life in the short time I knew him than probably I have learned in all the rest of my life. I am overwhelmed with gratitude to God that He gave me the opportunity to know him and learn under him. Much of what I write about I learned from Ron, either directly or from one of his students who is following in his footsteps. Now, I will begin focusing more specifically in the future on the things he taught.

I have written a tribute to Ron that will be posted sometime in the near future. I have submitted it to be posted on the website of the program that Ron started. As soon as my friend Gary posts it there I will provide the link for you to read about this great man of men.

So for now, I thought I would focus on the topic of wisdom, since my friend Ron was one of the wisest men I have ever known….

Have you ever wanted to just be really wise and know all the answers, but thought wisdom was just too far away? I sure have…. Before my friend’s death, but especially after his death, I began to think about what wisdom is. Ron had it down perfectly it seems… Often it seems so far away from me, but the question is, “Is it attainable by anyone? If so, how?”

As I looked at Ron’s life I asked myself, “what made Ron so wise?” What is wisdom? My husband and I discussed this topic over dinner the other night.

Here was my husbands response:

He said that “wisdom is the ability to see the big picture.” As I thought about that it made perfect sense. Ron could always see the big picture. Well, at least once he was taught to see it and focus on it. As I looked at what I knew about the first part of Ron’s life I realized that no, he didn’t always see the big picture. I realized that he had learned it. That was comforting to me because I pondered the thought that it could be a natural talent and not necessarily attainable.

Yes, wisdom can be learned. It is a skill that can be learned. However I believe it takes much effort and practice and concentration. It’s not for the half hearted. It probably takes a lot more practice for some than others. Some seem to pick it up easier than others.

Ron taught that seeing the big picture is part of a positive attitude. You can’t have a positive attitude if you’re caught up in the details of problems. Seeing the big picture requires you to step back and see things in perspective, in the whole scheme of things. When you do that you are able to be more positive about steps you take to find a solution to the problem.

So how do I learn wisdom? How do I learn to see things in perspective? These were the next questions I asked myself.

1. Being wise and seeing the big picture requires you to first define what is important, your values and priorities as I talked about in my previous article. You must define them clearly and specifically and then you will be able to make wise choices based upon what you have said was important to you. If you don’t know what is important then you really don’t have a big picture. Your life will be filled with meaningless overwhelming problems that you can’t solve.
(I know from previous experience.)

However, when you have your priorities in order, you will be able to see how everything fits into your priorities. Is the problem you are facing really that big? Is a good question to ask. If God and family are very important to you and the microwave blows up, sure it will be disappointing. But, in the whole scheme of things how important is it really?

2. Next in line, in order to see the big picture, is to set some goals. (As we continue our discussion next time you will see why this step is so crucial in obtaining wisdom.) My favorite book, Time Power: The Revolutionary Time Management System That Can Change Your Professional and Personal is by far the best information I have ever seen on goal setting. It’s system is the only one that has ever made sense to me. Make your goals in line with your priorities and not in conflict with them. Goals should include every aspect of your life and be numbered in order just as you did with your priorites. They should match up and not conflict with your priorities. Goals should include every aspect of your life - spiritual, mental, family, social, health, recreation, professional, etc. What is most important?

It is easy for me to look at my friend Ron’s life and see what was most important to him and what his goals were. He lived it every day of his life. God was most important to him, people were next. Going to Heaven, representing Jesus, and helping as many people as he could to find peace in their lives, remove emotional pain and come to know who God really is (both in his lifetime and afterward) and help them go to Heaven were his obvious goals.

Next time, we will take a look at how and why these steps bring about wisdom as we bring in some more steps. It’s so hard for me to stop writing…. I am so excited about these posts. It is eye opening to me to reflect and write on these things as I know it will be for you to read and learn….

For today, make a list of your values and goals and prioritize them.

To my friend Ron, your life lives on….

What have you learned about wisdom in your expereince?

It is only when you align all your actions with your priorities that you will experience peace and success in all endeavors and be all that you can be.

To read the precious articles in this series please go to:

Are You a Puppet on Strings? - Taking Back Control of Your Life
Steps to Happiness – Part 2Steps to Happiness - Part 3 - Does this Stuff Really Work?
Steps to Happiness – Part 4 - Who is Master?
Steps to Happiness – Part 5 - Choose What Kind of Chicken You’ll be before an Egg Hatches
Steps to Happiness - Part 6 - Happy People Don’t Seek Happiness

A thankful heart is the parent of all virtues.

- Cicero

This last article on Steps to Happiness has come to be my favorite although I didn’t know it would at the time. This gratititude thing has presented itself to me over and over again and I soon came to see that as Cicero said it truly is the “parent of all virutes.” The more this idea presents itself and the more I think about it the more I come to see that it is the foundation of all the other steps. Maybe it should have been first. But, then again maybe the other steps are necessary in order to be grateful…..I guess you could look at it both ways. Either way, I’m just being constantly reminded that I need improvement in this area of my life (and for that I’m grateful!).

As this idea kept presenting itself me I was refered to a book. After researching the book I can say that it will be my next purchase (soon) and one that I can recommend to my readers. It is called Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier. I can’t say it’s a “new science,” but it certainly looks like something we can all learn from. (Don’t you love how in this world of blogging we can end a sentence with a preposition.:) I always wanted to do that. My English teachers would not be proud. :))

When we take on this new attititude (really, it’s like a whole world view) and TRULY INTERNALIZE it, it changes how we see EVERYTHING and how we think and act and treat everyone including ourselves.

Well, enough babbling……

Gratitude….

Does it ever seem like you just don’t have anything? Do you often find yourself complaining about the things you don’t have? Are you not getting what you want out of relationships? These are serious issues for many people and it seems like a solution is nowhere in sight. So what can be done about it?

Developing and maintaining an attitude of gratitude is a must in order to find solutions to these problems and to lead a life of happiness. Without this attitude one will lead a miserable life at best, but with it the blessings abound. So the question arises, “If it is so important then what is it and how do I achieve it?” That’s the question I asked for a long time. Discovering the secret was life transforming.

I remember the first time that I encountered someone who had a true spirit of gratitude. I totally could not understand it. I remember thinking “I wish I could be like that.” – not realizing that I really could be. She had always been one of my favorite people, but it wasn’t until this day that I figured out why. Her husband was basically in a vegetable state and at the point of death and she said to me, “He may not live, much longer. I’m just thankful for the time we’ve had together.” I thought, “Wow, that is an amazing attitude!”

What is an attitude of gratitude?

Before we go any further, we need to recognize that attitude is a mindset; it’s a way of life, a constant way of being – of looking at things. It is something that we internalize. We define gratitude as being thankful. So we could define attitude of gratitude as a constant spirit or state of thankfulness.

So how do I develop this attitude?

First, and probably the most obvious recommendation, look around at all the people who have it worse than you do. There is always someone out there that is in worse shape than you are. If you’re not convinced then watch the news (although I try not to do that because it is so negative.) You will always find someone who is in a more troubling situation than you. It will put you in your place very fast.

Second, recognize that EVERY blessing you have is a gift from God – everything from, a roof over your head, to food to eat, to (hot) water to take a bath, to the people in your life, to the air that you breath, to life itself, to time. Not only is it a gift from God, it is a gift from God that you do not even deserve. This is not a “poor pitiful me, I’m not good enough for anything” attitude. It is exactly the opposite - recognizing how truly blessed you are and realizing that we are all sinful people that God chooses to bless anyway. He just blesses those people much more who live their lives for Him (I am not talking monetarily, although it can be included).

Truly happy people recognize that everything they have is not only a gift that they don’t deserve, but that it is a gift to be used for God’s glory. (This attitude changes how you treat everyone.) God really blesses these people. They also recognize that any of it could be taken away at any time and that is okay because they never really even deserved it in the first place.

When you view everything as a gift something almost magical happens. These things begin to transform into something beautiful. If we treat the people in our lives as a gift, then our relationships start to change and take on a whole new beautiful form.

Third, focus on what you DO have, not on what you do not have. There’s a secret. It goes like this: What you focus on expands. If you think about and focus on what you do not have you will just keep having nothing because nothing expanded is still nothing. If you focus on what you do have, you will be amazed at the blessings that come into your life. (Focusing on positive things always creates more positive thoughts. Focusing on negative things always creates more negative thoughts.)

Fourth, give of your abundance – your newly discovered blessings- cheerfully (even if it seems like very little). You always get back in direct proportion to what you give. If you give a little, you get a little back. If you give a lot you get a lot back.

Remember how we deal with life is always a choice. From experience, I can tell you it is well worth finally choosing gratitude.

Exercises:

1. Make a list of all your blessings. Read the list at least twice a day.
   
2. When you start to think about all the things you don’t have, just replace it with 3 things that you do have (and your mind will show you even more blessings that you do have.)
   Ex. If you only have $2 to you name. Think “Wow, I have $2, instead of thinking I ONLY have $2. Then think of two other blessings to go along with it. Remember someone out there has lost everything they owned in some tragic event. Even if you have lost everything you own, be thankful for life itself and the opportunities ahead of you instead of focusing on the problem itself.

http://www.wbschool.org/ and
www.housetohouse.com/hth/freebies/

Exercises:

Use the above resources to learn about God and form a relationship with Him.

As you go throughout your day look for ways to bring joy to others. Act on it.